


Accomplice to Damnation

by UnknownRegion



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Age Difference, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcoholic Reader, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ectobiology, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mage Reader, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Reader has a potty mouth, Self-Recovery, Slow Burn, male reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-03-03 03:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13332969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnknownRegion/pseuds/UnknownRegion
Summary: You are a mage. An unmarried and very SINGLE mage. And you prefer it that way! You wake up one day with the worst hangover yet and one of your own inventions around your finger. Cue horrified screaming... and intensified headache.





	1. Pißwasser - You're In, For a Good Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GenderlessPerson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenderlessPerson/gifts).



> Basically, this story is about you, the reader, and your journey through self-recovery with the help of your new Monster friends. You make accessories for a living, and carve magical runes on them to bless or curse the wearers. You're a mage (obviously). One of the 7 mages who sealed the Monsters underground, actually. You're kinda old since that was pretty long ago, but this is a fantasy story, bruh ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ besides, Monsters have long lifespans!
> 
> P.S. I do not own Undertale, obviously. Toby Fox is the genius behind this awesome game.

You woke up with foul words leaving your lips. You hated mornings. Especially mornings when sunlight just so happens to smack you in the face. Well, it wasn't half as bad when you compared it with the killer hangover that tries its damnedest to cover you in your own bile. 

Just another sickening morning with your best buddy the babalaas.

Groggy and definitely three-quarters dead, you roll over to bury your face in a pillow nearby, away from the evil rays of sunlight, and try to salvage what little of the pleasant dream you still had going on.

Unfortunately, a tiny and irritable side of you screams that you were in need of a major rinsing - because seriously, the insides of your mouth tasted like something had long died in it. Or if you're still not feeling up to it, a glass of honeyed scotch for the Sahara dessert stuck in your throat would do. Either way, you need to get your lazy arse up.

Once again, you curse at your drunk-self for sleeping without consideration for the aftermath. Like **please** , drunk-you, please closing the fucking curtains or roll down the blinds, or whatever that would not allow anything to awaken you prematurely. 

Whilst groaning to yourself, you futilely swore to never consume alcohol ever again. For the _nth_ time.

It took a moment or two of mental preparations before you were able to crack an eye open, bloodshot from your everyday wish to drown your guilt with alcohol, to blurrily glance around at your surroundings. You are in your bedroom, and luckily enough, sans _guests_. You were not in the mood for any form of company this morning.

A full body stretch later and you now you stood in the kitchen, one hand busy with fiddling the coffee machine and the other holding a glass of honeyed scotch to your lips (broke your own promise again, shocker). You would usually go for a red bull rather than coffee, but you had forgotten to restock.

Once again, you blame your useless drunk-self.

It was at this moment of time when you dimly took notice of a simple silver band wrapped snugly around your left ring finger, your eyes unblinking as you stared at said object.

You blink slowly as you took the image in, your brain trying to process what your eyes were seeing. It felt like your pink broccoli was doing calculus rather than simple addition. What was 2 + 2 again?

After a few long minutes of staring uncomprehendingly, a foggy memory of someone's very pale fingers appeared at the forefront of your mind. The fingers were sliding the silver band onto yours.

The glass shattered as it hits the floor, your hands numb. You would've grieved for it because that was your favourite, but alas, you were too distressed to notice. You let out a high pitched scream that was full of horror - trying and failing to get the _wedding_ ring off of your finger.

"Wh-wha-w-w-w-WHAT THE FUCK?! DRUNK-ME GOT MARRIED WITHOUT MY CONSENT?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

You felt your headache worsening as you continued to yell... as well as your sins crawling on your back.

You need a stronger drink.

Immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Couldn't resist writing this. Enjoy?
> 
> This is my first time writing in 2nd POV. I already suck at writing at 1st POV, so if you spot any errors, please do not hesitate to correct me!


	2. Boomshine - Money feels like home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: Losing hope. Depression. Apathy.

After your epic freak-out session, you pushed the wayward emotions aside in favour of reading the runes inscribed on the wedding band. Generally, all of the accessories you permanently wore had runes carved into them. Majority of them extending your lifespan, whilst the others were... well, you weren't going to go down those memory lanes. The roads were too dirty.

After reading and re-reading all of the runes on your newly acquired finger accessory, you seriously wanted to murder your drunk-self. There were conditions to be met before the magic would dissipate and allow you to remove it. First and foremost, have sex. Second, get a child. Lastly, stay in the same house for a year minimum. You won't be able to take off this ring anytime soon.

Why? Just why, drunk-you? Why **that** ring of all rings? Why can't drunk-you simply drag whoever you wanted at that time into a church and marry the old mundane way? You could've simply thrown the ring aside and ignore the whole thing after getting sober. But noooooo. Drunk-you wanted to get married via the ancient and traditional **mage way**. Basically a forced SOULBOND! Mundane humans don't even know mages still existed... and your soul would end up being the only needy and desperate one trying to complete the ritual. 

You decided that everything was too much for you to handle and threw your hands up. You gave up. Fuck it all and let's go to work. You ignored your blurry vision and got ready for the day.

You left for work by activating the circular teleportation rune carved into your walk-in wardrobe's door, entering and exiting nonchalantly from your shop's only locker. 

You were sick of thinking about the consequences and decided to leave everything up to fate. Everything would be settled eventually when the owner of the other half of your ring perishes (and so what if your soul would get a new crack when that person dies? nothing new). You have all the time in the world to wait since you weren't dying anytime soon. Unfortunately. 

Your shop's doorbell clinks loudly, breaking you away from those dangerous thoughts as well as indicating that a customer has entered. You turned your head slightly to the direction of your shop's entrance. It was time for you to stop moping around from behind your counter and greet whoever had just entered with a smile.

... Fuck that. You weren't in the mood to work, let alone smile.

You mentally whined at not skipping work today. It was regrettable that your greed for money was a black hole.

As the footsteps grew louder, you stood up reluctantly, preparing to entertain the customer. Hopefully, this one was just window shopping and you can just go back to nursing your drink and woes. And if anyone had a problem with you drinking so early in the morning, they can go fuck themselves. Drinking continuously was the best cure for hangovers. 

"Welcome to Green Heart. Are you looking for anything specific or will you just be browsing for today?"

You try to give your usual business smile, but obviously, you failed. The customer - a fish Monster - expressed his (her?) opinion of you by showing you a distrustful lone eye, the other covered by a neat eyepatch with the delta rune on it. You doubted that they were Royalty unless the royals  _goat_ replaced by Fish monsters. Anyway, can't blame them for looking at you like that. You looked like shit - what with your bloodshot eyes, dishevelled hair, and overall grumpy frown in between your brows. 

"Yeah yeah. I'm looking for an engagement ring to propose to my lover. Got any?"

"Indeed we do..." Should you call this customer ma'am or sir? Maybe ma'am because they have long red hair and feminine features...? Or sir because they were incredibly buffed with muscles (your arms appear flabby when compared to their extremely toned ones!) and have a masculine demeanour. Nevermind, let's not assume anything and just continue with keeping gender neutrality. "You came to the right place. In fact, dear customer, rings are our speciality here in Green Hearts. May I know your budget so I can give you a more accurate result in your search?"

After you received their budget, you guide them to one of the many showcasing counters, your attitude turning a one-eighty as you finally switched on your business mode. You proudly displayed the simple yet elegant rings lined beautifully within the bulletproof glass counter. The customer's jaw fell open - showcasing their extremely sharp shark teeth - when their only eye landed on the many designs.

"Are these selections to your liking?"

"..."

"Dear customer?"

"Nngh..."

"Uh, are you alri-"

"NGAAAAAHHH! THERE'S TOO MANY! I'LL BE HERE FOREVER... AND WE HAVE ANIME NIGHT TONIGHT!"

You blinked rapidly at the sudden and loud exclamation followed by a loud bang as their fist slams onto your counter. The tiny groan produced by the glass counter caused your left eye to twitch violently. You silently prayed that the glass would hold.

Perhaps you should offer them your secret deal? You don't usually recommend it to first time buyers, but since this customer was the first Monster to enter your shop, you could make an exception. You owe their race that much at least.

"Then how about this...?" Ugh, you felt uncomfortable with not calling them ma'am or sir. Respecting your customers and treating them politely was the key to earning more tips, after all. "We have a special service where we customize our clients' ring to their liking. All you need to do is to tell me what kind of ring you would like for your lover, and this humble salesperson shall present you with it."

"That's awfully convenient." They squinted their eye suspiciously, before suddenly letting out a bark of laughter, their hands on their hips. "Ok, human, if you're gonna try that hard, let's go with that! The faster I finish, the faster I can go home!!"

You had worried that they would decline, but the customer's grouchy demeanour vanished instantly after they let loose an intimidating shark grin. Your business smile widened and you gave them a brochure, as well as taking out a notepad and pen for yourself.

They browsed through the brochure for a few minutes before coming to a decision. 

"I want this for the band, this for the jewels, this for the font."

"Alrig-"

"Wait... You're a pro right?"

"I am but a humble salesperson, but yes, you could say that."

You placed your right hand over your heart as your business smile turned sly. The custo- client seemed to not notice and nodded to themselves, their arms crossed over their (flat and muscular, so they're a guy?) chest.

"Alright, human! I'll trust your judgment on this."

They slap (please stop) something on top of your counter and you raised a questioning brow as you take a good look at the picture of a golden lizard in a polka dot dress. She appeared like a nervous wreck. A complete opposite when compared to your current client.

Ah, so this client is male? No, wait. Monsters care not for gender or race... Shit, why was this client so darn hard to distinguish their gender?!

"Hm, a golden tiara band with silver outlines would match wonderfully with her. We can discuss the decorative details after. Is this your lover?"

"Yeah." The beautiful blue scales on their cheeks turned a little red as they grinned broadly at you. "My adorkable soon-to-be wife."

Adorkable? Somehow, that wordplay triggered a memory. It was hazy due to how drunk you were, so you couldn't quite make out anything but a short and extremely pale person in a blue hoodie sitting next to you on a barstool, telling stupid puns as drunk-you laughed without restraint.

You blinked rapidly as you pushed the memory aside. You have no time to think about the mess drunken-you had created. There was a customer turned client here, and that meant money! Money rules the world! Alcohol was a close second, though.

"She's cute."

"RIGHT?!? I tell her that all the time, but she keeps on denying."

"Maybe she's just shy?"

You continued to chat idly with your energetic client (they flexed their muscles a lot) as you write down what they wanted on their ring, giving suggestions once in a while. Small details are important - second only to the size. It took about an hour and a half for the two of you to come to an agreement, and after you are paid a deposit, you tell them that it would take a week before the product would be finished.

"If you want it to be done faster, I can push the order up for an additional fee of $100."

"No need."

"Then, before you go, there is one more offer I can recommend to you."

"What is it?" Their lone eye narrowed and they seemed to be on guard. 

"Green Heart has a special service of putting _Wishing Runes_ for clients who are purchasing engagement rings."

"Wishing runes? The heck is that? You trying to take more of my cash, punk?"

"Of course not, dear client. I assure you that this service is absolutely free of charge. Here is a pamphlet. It contains information on the WRs."

The fish Monster took the pamphlet warily and read through it, their only eye slowly growing more and more interested.

"Ok, human. I accept. These."

"Ah, I'm sorry, dear client. I had not fully explained it to you properly. I give you my sincere apology. Only one WR per ring, unless you do not mind paying an additional fee of $5000 per extra WR of your choice onto your desired ring. The selections on the last page are priced at $10000 or more depending on which." You point at the super small words at the bottom of the pamphlet using a magnifying glass, your smile not once losing its radiance.

"... What the heck?! That's too expensive for JUST a stupid writing!"

"I recommend getting this one for the free special service Wishing Rune."

You ignored their outburst as you point with your thumb at the biggest word printed on the pamphlet.

"'Prosperity'?"

"We have reviews stating that this Wishing Rune has truly brought forth money, happiness, and sustainability. All of our clients were satisfied with this one, and I can guarantee you that. We even have clients that come back to add more WRs to their ring - especially those that want to boost their chances of getting children."

"NGAAAHH! FINE! It's free anyway, so let's just go with that. You better not be bullshitting me, human." They turn their glare at you, their voice going dangerously low. So they're a man, after all? "It's free, right? You're not making me pay more, right, human? I may have lost my position as the Captain of the Royal Guard, but I can deal with a human who wants to take more than what they can get."

So this client was the former captain? Your smile grew. Maybe you could add another freebie _just_ for them.

"Of course, dear client. We value all of our customers' satisfaction level rather than their wealth (yeah right haha). And if you hate the Wishing Rune on the ring that much, there is a 100% return policy. I guarantee that you will receive all of your money back, and we will also provide you with a new ring without any Wishing Runes - free of charge. But I have to assure you, dear client, that not even one of our clients has brought their rings back for an exchange. Also, our shop will still remain here even after your departure. So rest assured of that."

"OK OK. NGAAAAHH!!! You talk too much! That all, human?"

"Yes, that is all. Here is your receipt. Please do remember to bring it with you when you return to collect the rings."

"Yeah yeah. See ya, punk. You're not bad for a human, I guess."

"Thank you for the compliment-" You bow a little as you continue to smile politely at them. "as well as your patronage. This humble salesperson shall see you in a week's time. Have a good evening and please do be careful on your way back."

You exhaled a breath of relief when you heard the doorbell, announcing that your new client has left. You sagged onto your counter and pulled out your half-empty bottle of beer. You needed a break.

As you chugged till the very last drop was swallowed, you stared at the name written on your copy of the receipt.

It sounded familiar...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support and positive comments! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯
> 
> Fu fu fu... One of the UT gang has entered your life. Things are about to get interesting!


	3. A.M. Beer - Rise and shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus believes in you! 

Days flew by in a flash. You had been busy with all of your clients' orders, and your nightly routine of binge drinking wasn't stopping anytime soon. So it wasn't a surprise for you to have woken up by an unknown caller. Drunk-you tended to give out your number to whomever asked, much to sober-you's exasperation.

"I ain't looking for a one-night just yet, sweetheart." The moment you answered your phone, you snarked out, more than a little irritated to have been forcefully woken after a whole night of drinking.

"S-SWEETHEART?! WOWIE! IS THAT MY NICKNAME, HUMAN FRIEND?! THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL GIVE YOU THE HONOR OF APPROVING THAT! BUT OUR SCHEDULED MEETING TIME IS HALF AN HOUR LATER, NOT AT NIGHT."

The loud voice made your ears ring unnaturally. You groaned in pain as you grabbed your head, the pounding almost killing you with their intensity. What a way to jog your memory.

You recalled that you had made a new buddy when you were on your break. You had been shoving cans and bottles of beverages - mostly alcoholic ones - when you had stumbled across a tall skeleton wearing a pretty cool body armour.

Tipsy-you had the brightest idea to strike up a conversation (flirt) with the tall dude and after a day spent with you and your new friend drinking coffee (or in your case, espresso stout) in a cosy cafe near your store, you both had exchanged numbers and made promises to attend a cooking class today. You had even grinned sloppily at the Monster when you applied online, feeling satisfied when the skeleton cheered and bounced around excitedly. 

You sneaked a glance at the time and almost died in misery. It was early. As in, the sun hasn't even played peek-a-boo with you yet.

You've only known Papyrus for half a day, but that was enough for you to not want to disappoint him by cancelling the plan. So with a pained expression, you pulled your phone to your ear.

"Yeah. That's uh, your nickname, uh, sweetheart." You sweatdropped when you heard him squeal at his end, not quite managing to conceal your wince, but you doubt he had noticed. "So, thanks for the wake-up call."

"IT IS OF NO PROBLEM, HUMAN FRIEND! FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAD A LOT OF PRACTICE WITH MY LAZYBONES OF A BROTHER AND HIS MANY NAPS AND BREAKS."

"Right... I'll see you in 30 minutes."

"INDEED! SEE YOU SOON!"

With that settled, you reluctantly pushed yourself up from your bed. You grabbed a towel on your way to the bathroom, and during your shower, you popped open a bottle as per your daily routine.

Unnecessary news flash: you hated being sober.

Without the mind-numbing effect that alcohol brought to you, you wouldn't have been able to continue with your day without falling back into bad habits. Not that drinking wasn't considered a bad habit, but hey, people coped differently. You just hadn't found the correct way.

Besides... You didn't deserve a life full of sunshine and rainbows.

You gritted your teeth at the onslaught of bad memories bombarding you. The alcohol in your hand was quickly consumed. You welcomed the buzz that protected you from those brutal and bloody images of war, torture, suffering, and guilt. 

The outfit you chose for your outing was a baggy hoodie over a simple shirt that wrote 'Not a Morning Person', followed with a random boxer short, drop crotch pants, and mismatched socks. Your choice of clothing made it easier to hide the many flasks you own. And they're comfortable. Comfort beats fashion anytime. 

As you sat in front of your dressing table mirror, you brushed your hair to the side with a brush before you flipped it so that you were holding it by the back of its teeth. A twist at the ends later and you're filling the secret flask in the shape of a brush with anything within arms reach.

It sometimes amuses you that your apartment was like a wine cellar. The temperature of your whole flat was fixed so that you could enjoy cold drinks without needing to shuffle through your fridge. Though the fridge is full of drinks... as well as your living room... and study... and toilet... Actually, literally everywhere. No wonder you don't invite people over... and your pet is just a rock in a dirty dress.

You then placed the brush inside your sling bag, along with a quantum physics flask book. The next item you pushed into your bag was a Listerine bottle that actually contained blue dyed vodka, a sunscreen lotion flask, and a boozebrella.

Yeah. Your employees often wondered how your liver and kidneys were still functioning, but you always shrugged and answered with 'magic'. Which was true. They just didn't know that Mages weren't actually extinct.

The community (if it could be called that) of mages were a secretive bunch (though everyone is in the 'Mages' Facebook group). A population of less than a thousand worldwide. You didn't quite keep track, but with the latest information, which was truthfully outdated like a decade ago, only about a hundred or so remained in this country. 

After the war between humans and monsters, a majority of the mages were cursed with infertility by the back then queen of monsters. The descendants of those that were able to reproduce wouldn't have the means of learning about their heritage, which will continue to decline. Sooner or later, you were going to be the last remaining mage. And wasn't that a _pleasant_ thought?

A shot later and you were out the door, a casual grin on your face as you skipped towards the quaint little cafe near your store. Papyrus was probably waiting impatiently for you. He was the type to arrive overly early.

The moment you left the apartment complex, paying no mind to the security guards, you began to maintain a portion of subtlety when sipping your flask ever so often. You even smiled smugly at the old man who saw right through you - shaking his head in disapproval and mumbling about young people nowadays - up until you reached your destination. 

When you turned the final corner, however, you were shocked at what you saw. That shock turned into killing intent the second you processed what exactly was happening.

Papyrus, the adorable cinnamon roll tipsy-you befriended, was being yelled at by a red-faced human covered in layers of fur clothing. She was waving her arms around as if to intimidate him. And it was somehow working because the sweet skeleton was fidgeting and his body language screamed upset. The other humans on the streets - the few of them in this godforsaken hour - made themselves scarce the moment they saw what was happening.

Trash.

All of them.

"I AM VERY SORRY THAT MY GREATNESS INTIMIDATES YOU, HUMAN. BUT REST ASSURED THAT I BRING NO HARM AND AM SIMPLY WAITING FOR MY NEW FRIEND'S ARRIVAL. SO WOULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE? I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS I AM DOING WRONG FOR YOU TO BE SCOLDING AND YELLING AT ME."

You gritted your teeth and marched right up. The second you were in range, you set a reassuring hand on Papyrus's humerus. It made the skeleton jump and brought attention to you, causing the human woman to stop her annoying screeching. 

Papyrus looked relieved to see you, and you couldn't help but soften at the sight. You carefully pulled the tall skeleton behind of you (and so what if you only reached his sternum?) as to protect him, then turned your killer glare towards the bitch, your eyes narrowed into slits.

"You got a bone to pick with him, miss?"

You swore you heard a chocked laughter from behind, but paid it no mind as you raised a brow at the unsightly sputtering human in front of you. 

"Excuse me?!"

"Yeah, you're excused. Shoo shoo."

You waved a hand as if to swat a fly away, impudently smirking when her expression turned foul. 

"You're taking that thing's side?!?"

"Papyrus is NOT a THING. Even so, is there a problem with that?"

"Is there a- what?! Are you stupid?! A freak is roaming our streets, disturbing us common folk with their unnaturalness and unsettling ugliness... and yet you ask if there is a problem?! Oh, there is a huge one! That THING should have never been allowed to walk with us, HUMANS!"

With every word she spat, you heard more than seeing Papyrus squirm, his bones making soft rattling sounds, showing how distressed he was. 

Humans... Every single one of them. Disgusting, pieces of shit. No wonder you hated humanity as a whole. 

For now, you weren't going to allow this bitch to affect your friend with her ugly and hurtful words. Nobody will get the chance to corrupt this cinnamon roll in your presence!

"The only one I see causing such a disturbance is you, you bigoted bint! Freak? Unnatural?! Magic is what keeps the world from collapsing, you uneducated fool! Without magic to support mother earth, how is she suppose to fight off the pollution you disgusting waste of spaces continue to bring forth in your quest for 'evolution'?!" You took in a deep breath in, forcing your frayed nerves to calm, and continued with a cool voice. "Now, why don't you hurry back to whichever cave you crawled out from... and let us modern folk handle civilisation. Your ugly mug would scare children away and make babies cry. Let us all not bring trouble by creating any more issues, yes?"

She gaped at you in silence, pointing her shaking finger to your nose as if she wanted to scratch your eyes out.

"Y-y-you....!!!!!"

"Handsome fella? Why thank you. Although you are unsightly, you do know a thing or two about beauty when you see it. Now please, sashay away, lady. If you need a direct translation for that small and ignorant brain of yours, what I meant to say was: bye, go home, no one loves you."

Whilst the lady was busy with sputtering and overall making a fool of herself, you pulled Papyrus into the quaint cafe, finally relaxing your shoulders when you see her stomping 'indignantly' away.

You guided Papyrus to your favourite booth - where it was secluded at the far back. It was better if neither of you attracted any more attention from monster hate groups. Luckily for you, you were a regular and the staff members were friendly. 

After settling down and having both your orders taken, you turned your attention to the skeleton. He still looked upset, yet was trying to hide it behind his skele-grin.

"Hey, sweetheart... are you alright? You didn't order your favourite dinosaur oatmeals."

"I MUST ADMIT THAT YOU ARE VERY OBSERVANT, HUMAN FRIEND, BUT THE GREAT PAPYRUS SIMPLY DOESN'T HAVE THE APPETITE TO EAT."

"Hmmm... uh, excuse me."

You waved for a waitress.

"How can I help you, sir?"

"May I add an order of dinosaur oatmeals, please?"

"Absolutely. Is that all?"

"Yes, thank you."

The waitress walked away after giving both of you a smile. Papyrus, on the other hand, looked disapprovingly at you.

"What?"

"I DISAPPROVE OF WASTING FOOD!"

"It won't be wasted, sweetheart. Now then, what are you troubled about? If it's that bint, pay her no mind. Bigots will always be bigots."

"THAT... I DISAGREE WITH YOUR MINDSET. I BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE HAS THE CAPABILITIES TO BE A GOOD PERSON IF THEY TRY. THAT LADY WAS JUST AFRAID OF ME. NO, DO NOT SAY OTHERWISE, FRIEND, I MAY HAVE UTTERED A SMALL LIE ABOUT NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY SHE WAS SHOUTING AT ME, BUT THAT IS ONLY BECAUSE I DO NOT WISH TO CAUSE MORE TROUBLE. I AM MORE ATTENTIVE THEN I LET ON. SHE WAS SIMPLY FEARFUL OF THE THINGS SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND. AND WE MUST PROVIDE HER WITH THE MEANS TO COMPREHEND OUR EXISTENCE. MISUNDERSTANDINGS HAPPEN FROM TIME TO TIME, BUT WITH PROPER EDUCATION AND PATIENCE, EVERYONE WILL ONE DAY COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING AND WE WILL ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. I BELIEVE IN THAT!"

You were silent for a while, his words replaying in your mind. And he was right. Wars happen, and most of the time, it was due to one party fearing the other. Just like how humans at that time feared the monsters' ability to absorb the souls of dead humans. Fear clouds the mind, and it brings many disasters.

"You're right, Papyrus. I'm sorry. I was being as small-minded as she was." 

"IT'S ALRIGHT, FRIEND. YOU ONLY WANTED ME TO FEEL BETTER... AND I AM FEELING MUCH BETTER! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS MANAGED TO OVERCOME YET ANOTHER CHALLENGE AND CHANGED ANOTHER PERSON'S VIEW OF THE WORLD! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

"You're amazing..."

You whispered in awe. Apparently, you didn't speak soft enough because his cheeks exploded orange. You chuckled under your breath, finding it adorable that he was bashful of a single compliment when he did so much more. 

Truthfully, he was more than amazing. If only he was born in your era. Maybe... Just maybe, he could've changed the outcome of the war. Make the humans open their eyes and realize that 'ahh... we are making a terrible mistake...' and he would've been like 'EVERYBODY CAN MAKE AN OVERSIGHT! IT HAPPENS! AND IT TAKES A BIG PERSON TO ADMIT TO THEIR FAULTS - AN EVEN BIGGER ONE TO CORRECT THEIR MISTAKES!'.

"T-THANK YOU, DEAR FRIEND. YOU ARE NOT BAD YOURSELF! BUT NOBODY CAN BEST THE GREAT PAPYRUS! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!"

He finally returned back to his boisterous self, and you had to hide your laughter when his orange blush brightened to neon in colour when his 'stomach' grumbled. Just in time too, because your orders have arrived. 

You grinned broadly as you listen to him chatter about how great he is, and how lazy but awesome his brother is. 

He filled you with hope. Hope that there were others out there who believe in humanity and monsterkind equally.

An hour passed just like that - with him eating the dinosaur oatmeal you ordered for him and you drinking scotch in your coffee mug. Soon enough, you both left the cafe (you leaving behind a huge tip for the waitress) and headed towards the cooking class.

Papyrus continued to ramble about his love for spaghetti - which you found odd because he admitted that he has never eaten his creations before - and how much he dislikes his brother's puns... but halfway told you that he secretly likes them. The skeleton even blushed neon orange and made you swear that you won't ever reveal that to his brother. You shrugged and teased him for it, which made him screech and rain weak punches at you. 

You loved every single second of being with Papyrus. This made you wonder if this was what having a little brother felt like.

When you both finally arrived at the location of the cooking class, the two of you stared bewilderedly at the building. 

You double confirmed with your GPS. Sometimes those things were bonkers. 

"Er, here we are. Looks... uh, interesting."

"... WHY ARE THERE NAKED SKELETONS ON THE PORCH?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blatantly advertising my other UT fanfic: Future of Yours ( http://archiveofourown.org/works/7409542 )  
> I ain't editing the fonts in this story!
> 
> Thank you for your support and positive comments! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯
> 
> P.S. A lot of you mistook this reader for a female one. I don't mind if you really want to ignore the gender, but when smut comes, I don't want it to be a surprise when it's 2 swords rather than a shield and sword. So just a heads up: MALE READER. I'll also make the smut skip-able so... yep. I'll shut up now.


	4. Dusche Gold - Let it rain... Lasagna!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You, a total failure in the kitchen, tried for cooking classes? HAHAHHAAHAHAHAH!!!! ┻━┻ ︵ ¯\\_༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽_/¯ ︵ ┻━┻

You had a hard time explaining to the skeleton Monster about Alls Hallows Eve, but that was because you didn`t celebrate those kinds of holidays. Thus why you ended up describing Samhain more to the cinnamon roll.

"SO YOU CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF WINTER BY DANCING, BUILDING BONFIRES, AND DOING RITUALS? YOU HUMANS ARE VERY BIZARRE."

Papyrus still looked confused.

"Hm, that sums it up quite well. But the humans nowadays simply dress up as monsters and go 'trick or treat'-ing. That's the reason why you see, uh, naked skeletons _hanging_ around the houses."

You pointed at the plastic skeletons that were tied to the porch. 

"THAT PUN IS NOT APPRECIATED, HUMAN FRIEND! I UNDERSTAND THIS... TRICK OR TREAT THING -AND SANS WOULD DEFINITELY LOVE IT - BUT WHY DO THEY NOT DRESS THE SKELETONS?"

"That, sweetheart, is because... uh, we never thought of dressing up the skeleton decorations. Before you guys emerged from MT Ebott, mundane humans never believed that monsters exist."

"I MUST ADMIT THAT THIS VIEW IS QUITE INDECENT... I HESITATE TO PASS THROUGH..."

"From your point of view, I understand. Maybe you should spread awareness through social media?"

"AN EXCELLENT IDEA! YOU ARE VERY SMART, DEAR FRIEND. YOU WILL BE THE FIRST PERSON TO KNOW OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS'S BLOG ONCE I HAVE MADE IT! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!"

You were bodily picked up by your waist and hugged. Then Papyrus began to twirl both of you around as he continued his cute 'nyeh heh heh'-ing. You chuckled and felt that you were some kind of teddy bear, what with your dangling feet and spaghetti arms.  

The sweet moment was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Papyrus turned towards the sound. 

Standing on the porch was a middle-aged lady in a pink frilly apron over her one-piece purple dress. Her blonde hair was tied into a tight bun, and her features show of her strict mannerism. She could be considered quite beautiful if she were to smile. 

"Might I ask why you're making a racket outside of my home?"

Even her voice sounded stern. But thankfully, you didn't hear any disgust or fear when she looked at Papyrus carrying you.

"I APOLOGIZE FOR HAVING DISTURB YOU IN YOUR HOME, HUMAN. MY FRIEND AND I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE SO LOUD. MAY I ASK IF YOU ARE MRS. GRACE SCHEIBER?"

"I am. Did you both apply for my cooking classes?"

"Yep." You patted Papyrus's humerus to get his attention. "As much as I love being held, sweetheart, can you put me down? I'm getting... sick."

The alcohol in your stomach was doing acrobatics and if this continues, you'll puke all over yourself. 

"OH! RIGHT. THERE YOU GO."

"Thanks. May we come in, ma'am?"

The blonde waved them in and locked the door after they entered. 

The house was warm and lived in, with pictures of her family covering the walls. You find it weird that she chose her house as the location for her class, but when you saw the kitchen, you took that all back. The kitchen itself was big enough to hold fifty people no problem. It was as if... You opened your senses and almost gasp. It was no wonder she could fit a kitchen of that magnitude in her moderate size home. The area was basically magic-ed with space expansion, basically. And there was a tint of mind magic too. Likely to persuade the mundane humans to not ask questions. 

You subtly prodded your magic against her core, making sure to remain undetected as she guided Papyrus and you towards an unoccupied counter, the other 'students' having waited patiently for you both to settle. 

The amount of MP in her was average at best - and definitely not enough to anchor the magic used to expand her kitchen. Add in mind magic and she would've been drained until even her bones were turned to dust.

Runes were definitely involved, but you were the only expert on the subject. 

You decided that you would come back at a later time to check upon the rune stones before anything disastrous could happen. Runes were dangerous if not properly made. Besides, unstable anchor stones was a headache-inducing problem. It might work fine one day but end up exploding the next, killing everyone within a mile radius (and the more powerful the rune was, the bigger the explosion). They were unpredictable to novices and hobbyist. And the last disciple you had... He was an unpleasant guy. You had refused any more disciples after you were forced to kill your last one due to him having used runes to create the black plague.

Back then, you were thankful that you had managed to confine the disease within Eurasia and not let it infect the whole world. You also had to do damage control and kill off all the rats that had been experimented on and bred simply to cause that disaster of epic proportion. Even convincing the mundane kings and queens that magic was not involved was a hassle. Just remembering that foolish pupil was enough to turn you off from accepting any more students.

Some might wonder how runes were connected to creating pandemic diseases, but many people underestimate your work too much. You were the father of runes, the creator. You taught runes to mages of the old, but those were simple charms such as bringing luck or fortune or creating barriers to defend against evil, however, your runes were not always used for good.

The emperors of old had found out the things you could do with your creations, and you obeyed their orders by creating a rune to trap the Monsters underground, with conditions that only seven human souls can destroy it. Human thought it was an easy thing to accomplish, but you - a person who befriended many Monsters - knew that they couldn't bear to kill innocents just to free themselves. It was a condition they cannot accomplish without having turned against their very being. Their very soul. 

And thus, that made you an accomplice to their damnation. 

"-matoes are used-"

You shook your head to get rid of those awful memories and popped a water bottle open. You chugged down the undiluted vodka and relish in the burn it gave you. 

Now you were more focused on the present. 

"What are we supposed to be making again?"

You whispered to Papyrus as you tied an apron around your waist. 

"Lasagna. But Friend, Why Aren't You Paying Attention?!"

Surprise surprise! Papyrus knew how to whisper! You idly wondered if this was how he could get away with talking during his school years.

"Sorry, sweetheart. I got lost in my head. Was just thinking of all the _pasta_ bilities this class could bring to my cooking skills..."

Papyrus looked at your with disapproval, and he even slapped your back a couple of times before he returned his attention to the cook.

"Do you understand, class? I'll be going around as you cook, so if you have any questions, do not hesitate to call me over."

As Grace was walking around the kitchen, helping her students whilst at it, you turned your attention to the ingredients on the counter you and Papyrus shared. 

Your friend was busy with aligning the tomatoes... and proceeded to smash them with his fists. The chunks and juice splattered over both of you. 

... Why?

You spat out the tomatoes whilst wiping your face, the damn thing getting in your eyes. It burns!!!

"What happened here?!?!"

The voice of Grace screeched. You heard her running to you and felt a wet cloth helping you with getting the juice out of your eyes. You mumbled a thanks and managed to crack an eye open. Papyrus looked apologetic as he helped you, and tried to explain to the blonde that he was using Undyne's techniques.

That name sounded familiar...

"No no no no no! You do not beat the tomatoes to a pulp with your fists! Whoever taught you that is no chef, young man!"

He was berated whilst the class tried to hide their giggles and laughter. Now that you paid attention, all of them were ladies. Ah, how embarrassing. 

On the bright side, at least there was someone much worse than you in the kitchen. 

Whilst the blonde's attention was on Papyrus, you looked at the instruction on the board and tried to follow along. Preheat oven, check. Soak noodles in ~~water~~ vodka, check. Mix everything and dump them in a pan, check. Mix the cheese and whatever else you want in a bowl, check. Dump everything in the oven, check. 

Looks good enough. 

Grace, the whole time, was mentoring Papyrus and after some time, the lasagna the skeleton made was taken out from the oven.

"Woah. That smells good, Paps."

"NYEH HEH HEH HEH! AS EXPECTED FROM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!"

"Uhm, Mrs. Grace...?"

A lady behind of us raised her hand.

"Yes, dearie?"

"There's... uhm, there's black smoke coming out from his oven."

Everyone within hearing distance followed her finger and saw the oven you used was puffing out black smoke like a dragon having a coughing fit. Grace choked on nothing and rushed over. When she opened the oven, the fire alarm immediately rang and soaked everyone from head to toe. The smell coming from the lasagna you made was... horrendous.

You wore oven mitts and took out the thing. It looked... quite good actually. Papyrus was trying to stop you from eating, but your curiosity was too great for you to resist.

You swallowed a spoonful.

The taste was... indescribable. 

Without hesitation, you scooped a mouthful of lasagna from Papyrus's plate, wanting to get rid of the taste.

His lasagna was... indescribable...

You spat the monstrous thing in your mouth and rushed towards the sink. Not really paying attention to where you're going, you tripped over a wayward pan and fell, knocking down the table holding all the student's lasagna.

You ended up being rained down with water and lasagna.

"Y-y-y-yOUU!! GET OUT OF MY CLASS! BOTH OF YOU! NEVER RETURN!"

Well.

That sums up trying to cook. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support and positive comments! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯Seriously. It does! 
> 
> P.S. I was trying to aim for 6666 words, but it kinda went over by 200... ;(


	5. Blêuter'd - Blue TURD, thy name is you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are a lump of shite ( ༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`) a TURD!

You and Papyrus stared at the blonde as she threw yet another cranky comment before slamming the door to your faces. 

"Well... That was fun."

You grinned at the skeleton who acting similar to a kicked puppy that was thrown out of the house, not minding that you were still head to toe covered in lasagna. You even felt bits and pieces of grub inside your pants, and it was making you extremely uncomfortable.

The two of you walked away from the lovely house and down the road, with Papyrus covering his eye sockets as he passed by a few 'naked skeletons' shyly on his way out. There was a skip in your steps to express your current mood.

The class was kinda fun, and the discovery of another mage in town made you feel less lonely (you thought that everyone else didn't want to live in the Ebott region). As a fellow mage, no matter how rude she was to comment on your non-existent cooking skills, you could at least do a free service of checking those rune stones later. And if they somehow exploded before you managed to do so, well, your apartment wasn't anywhere near here. 

"I HAVE TO ADMIT, FRIEND, THAT I HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTERED SOMEONE SO DREADFUL IN THE KITCHEN BEFORE! BUT FEAR NOT. THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS PREDICTED THAT THIS WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN TO BEGINNERS AND APPLIED TO ANOTHER CLASS AT ANOTHER LOCATION. FAR FROM HERE. NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!"

He posed whilst your jaw was on the floor.

Oh, hell no. Once was more than enough. You'll be sticking with takeaways, thank you very much.

"Paps. Sweetheart. Friend. I'm kind of covered in layers of sauces right now. I should head home for the day."

"FEAR NOT! I MADE SURE TO BOOK A SLOT FOR US THE NEXT DAY. IT'S AT..."

He told you the address with a cute smile on his skull.

"Ah..."

You parted your lips, ready to turn him down, but those eye sockets staring at you... ugh! 

* Papyrus uses puppy dog eyesockets.

* You received 9999999 damage.

* It's super effective!

Your shoulders slumped down.

"... Alright."

"EXCELLENT! I SHALL TAKE YOU HOME-"

"I'm going to interrupt you there, sweetheart. It's me that's walking you back."

You didn't want to risk what occurred to him this morning to happen again. Fucking bitch should be flayed.  

"UHM... WELL... THAT..."

Sweat was forming around his skull, and you raised a brow at him. What a strange reaction. 

"MY AREA... IS NOT SAFE TO WALK ON YOUR OWN. IT IS BETTER IF I ACCOMPANY YOU HOME BEFORE I TAKE MY LEAVE."

Now if that didn't sound ominous, you would eat your own socks. 

"Where do you stay, Papyrus?" He fidgets. "Pa. Py. Rus."

"SOUTH FROM YOUR SHOP."

You stroked your chin for a bit, the compass in your head not quite accurate due to you always stumbling around dead drunk. The only bad area you could remember being south from where you shop was located was the...

"... Don't tell me it's near the slums."

"WOWIE! YOUR GUESS IS- NO WAIT. NO. HUMAN FEAR NOT. THE APARTMENT WE LIVE IN IS NOWHERE _NEAR_ THE SLUMS!"

"... It's _in_ the slums."

Papyrus deflates. Try as he might, you were the king of omission and half-truths. 

"I'm walking you home. And I'm not taking no for an answer, Papyrus. I'm serious." 

"OK, SERIOUS. I WILL REMAIN AS PAPYRUS." 

The skeleton looked pained at even speaking such a horrid joke. You would've howled with laughter at his expression, but you weren't feeling up to it right now. You're more worried about him walking alone in such a dangerous area.

"Papyrus. I'll. Walk. You. Back."

"BUT THAT PLACE IS NOT SAFE-"

"For YOU to be walking on your on! What were you thinking?! If you had told me, I would've fetched yo-"

"I AM NOT A BABY BONES! I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF DEFENDING MYSE-"

"Oh, we are so not going to go into that! You would rather talk to them than fight! I don't doubt -"

"EVEN IF THAT IS TRUE, I CAN CONVINCE THEM. BUT IF THAT FAILS, I WILL STILL PROTECT MYSELF FIR-"

"Humans are despicable, Papyrus! They might smile and pretend to listen, but the moment you let your guard dow-"

"I. DO NOT. BELIEVE THIS!!! WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION OVER BREAKFAST!"

"This and that are different!"

"THEY ARE THE SAME!"

You both ended up screaming at each other, interrupting one another and not letting the other talk. 

You were pissed. Not at the skeleton. But at humanity. You knew that the moment they exchanged their currency, all of the Monsters would become millionaires - billionaires for those already rich during their time trapped under Mt. Ebott. So why was he living in a run-down apartment in the slums? It can only be due to racist humans refusing to sell him a house, or denying him entry into a secured apartment complex. 

Despicable!

"Enough!"

You finally had enough of his arguments and sneered. Your high EXP and LV causing you to accidentally let loose some of your killing intent. It wasn't even directed at him, but it shut Papyrus up at the cost of you being a total jerk. 

"Look. I'm sorry." A hand was covering your eyes as you sighed out in exhaustion. "Just... Let me walk you home. I can't stand the thought of you being hurt on your way back alone."

"I'M AFRAID THAT SIMPLY WON'T DO. GOODBYE."

Papyrus immediately turns around and dashes away. You caught a glimpse of orange tears in his sockets and you felt like scum. 

You tried to catch up, but he was too fast and was gone the moment you turned the corner. It was as if he vanished into thin air. 

A groan escaped you and you slapped yourself. Hard enough for you to cut your lip with your own rings. Good. It serves you right for making your only friend cry. And probably became your ex-friend.

Whipping out your phone, you quickly texted Papyrus a lengthy apology as you made your way towards your shop. Work would distract you.

* * *

It has been three days since Papyrus contacted you.

Three. Days.

You took a swig of beer, trying to fight the incoming tears from running down your face. You weren't usually emotional, but you really clicked with Papyrus - even though you've only known each other for two days. 

The knowledge of him avoiding your calls and messages... fills you with desolation. 

When the doorbell rang, you contemplated if it was worth greeting the customer or going back to nursing your drink. The cons outweigh the pros so you decided on the latter and continued to chug down whatever alcoholic beverage was within your reach. 

Losing one customer wouldn't bring forth the end of the world. 

"Disgusting. You're still drinking like a swine as usual, Runic. How very predictable."

You cracked an eye open as you wiped your lips with the collar of your uniform (a three-piece suit), wondering who it was that had called you by your mage alias.  

The man standing ramrod straight in front your counter was as tall as Papyrus ~~(don't cry!)~~ , with shoulder length blonde hair that was tied into a ponytail, and narrowed baby blue eyes. He looked dashing in his dark grey slim fit suit, his sharp features and pompous demeanour giving him a celebrity-worthy first impression.

"Oh. It's you."

And you weren't impressed.

The blonde's eyebrows twitched when you turned away in clear dismissal.

You went back to pitifully soothing your thirst with another bottle of unidentified liquor.

"Unpleasant and rude, thy name is Runic."

"What do you want, blondie? I'm busy here."

You slurred out with a lazy wave of your hand, praying to whatever deity out there to make him go away. The arrogant blonde was someone from the council, so giving him your ~~(10%)~~ co-operation was within your interest, lest they start sending you notices and warnings because you were being 'unreasonable' to their messenger.

That would be a headache you wanted to avoid.

"Right. Clearly, you are busy with killing your own liver. Alas, as much as I hope you succeed, there has been an... incident that requires your presence."

"I try my best. So... Why?"

A small parchment was dropped onto your head, causing you to scowl at the brat before you snatched it away to read it.

> You are hereby summoned to appear on XX/XX/XXXX at 1500 hours before the Council of Sorcerers at Ebott Central, the Mayor's mansion. Failure to comply will result in severe consequences.

"Great. Just what I needed. Yo, blondie, I have clients waiting for me to finish their orders. Can this not wait?"

"It is of utmost importance that you attend. I, myself, have no idea why they would want such a degenerate amongst the council, but I do not question my orders."

"Just like the loyal mutt you are."

The blonde's eye narrowed in disdain before he left without another word. Thank fucking heavens. 

You rubbed your eyebrows tiredly, the parchment already balled up in one fist as you aimed to throw it into a wastebin nearby. Your aim was a little off, but you gave no fucks. Your employees would clean up after you once they returned from their break, so you simply decided to go back to work. 

The drink in your hand was put aside for now as you entered your workroom, making sure to leave the door slightly ajar so that you would hear if any other customers were to enter. Not likely, though, since it was lunchtime.

The first thing you did when you were inside was to check your client orders whilst you put an apron on. Slightly above your work table was a whiteboard filled with your handwriting, showing you this week's workload. Thankfully, most of them were already crossed out.

You started slow, using modern gadgetry to melt the ingots first before you used your magic to help with moulding them whilst they were still hot. You made sure that the shapes, sizes, and texture were perfect, and if they weren't, you would re-do everything. You might be a slob and a drunkard, but your jewellery shop's extraordinary reviews and reputation weren't built by you being sloppy with your work.

The whole procedure was a burden to your  ~~unhealthy~~ constantly exhausted physical body, but because your mana reserves were high, you managed to finish the last few orders without a problem. And due to the entire process being done by your magic - apart from step one, which was to melt the gold - you had time to take a break before you start engraving the runes and words that your clients request. 

Just as you left the workroom after cleaning up and fixing your attire, your two employees came back from their breaks. They were twins, both female and lookers. The one with the honey blonde afro is named Shekinah whilst the other with dark blonde bunned up dreads is Shakira. They both have big chocolate brown eyes, gorgeous features, a body most women would kill for, and delicious looking cocoa skin. Dressed in your shop's formal three-piece uniform, men and women alike would salivate over them. 

For you, however, they were but children in your eyes, even though they were already in their mid-twenties. 

"Yo, boss. Finally decided to cut down on drinking?"

Shekinah, Kina for short, grinned boyishly at you as she settled behind her station - the counter on the right side of your shop.

"We're bac- ugh, can you PLEASE pick up after yourself, boss? Or at least throw them into the bin. What would customers think if they walk in on this?"

Shakira, Kira for short, scolded you with an exasperated sigh as she goes around, cleaning the shop of your empty beer cans and liquor bottles. 

"Thus why I accepted your request of having formal uniforms."

"Yes, boss, we all look professional in these at first sight - thank you for granting my request, by the way - but, for goodness sake, please drink in your workroom or at least when it's near closing time."

"Kira kira kira. Sister. You should just give up. He's a lost cost."

You rolled your eyes at the tomboy, then went back to pretending to listen to the motherly woman's words. They may be twins, but they were polar opposites. 

Kina, after a few minutes of lecturing you about cleanliness and hygiene, settled comfortably at her designed counter on the left side of the shop. 

"Well, since you're both here, I'll go out for my break."

"Oh, hell no, boss man." Kina quickly blocked the exit of the shop, hands on her hips. "After Danny left, the shop only has one male worker here, and that's you. Remember the last time you left for a quick smoke break? Fuckers come in thinking that this here's easy picking because my sis and I are women. Of course, I showed them who's boss, but I ain't trained to fight. You're having your break in this shop or I swear to god I will throw all your alcohol away."

You couldn't help it, you whined and pouted like a child. It wasn't your fault no men wanted to work here. You would've hired another lady without issues if they were competent, but the twins refused, stating fiercely that they needed someone intimidating to at least scare off potential thieves.

Just as you were about to throw your dignity away and roll on the floor to show how displeased you were, the doorbell chimed. 

The twins smiled professionally as they greeted the customer(s).

"Welcome to Green Heart."

The customer, a tall bipedal goat Monster in a floral hawaiian shirt and bermuda shorts, enters your shop with a human child behind of him. 

"Oh, howdy. Do you mind if we take a look around?"

The goat Monster greeted back with a kind smile, although it strained when he asked that question. You wondered if he had been shoo-ed by other jewellery shops before deciding on yours.

You waved Kina and Kira back to their stations and put up a professional business smile for the Monster.

"Not at all, sir. Are you looking for anything specific?" 

"Actually, yes, I am. Does the shop sell lockets?" 

"Indeed we do. Let me show you some of our works. This way, please."

You guided the two of them to one of the small display counters. It showcased many different types of pendants and lockets, all of them in gold. The child who came in with the goat Monster had their lips in an 'O' shape as they stared in awe at the designs. Or maybe because everything was shiny. You never know with children. 

"Golly. These are amazing..."  

He whispered with admiration. One of his paws were holding onto the glass counter as he leaned forward, his height making it difficult for him to get a close-up. Especially with those horns. Dayum. Reminds you of a friend from way back before the war. 

Actually, you idly wondered if he was one of the royalties. You knew that goat Monsters had been the king/queen before Monster were... You quickly pushed that thought aside.

Better pay attention to your customers. 

"Thank you. Do you have any favourites amongst these?"

"W-well..."

"Please, do not worry about offending me, sir. We have a lot of other designs that may be to your liking. You are helping yourself by being honest, and in order for me to be of assistance, I will need to know what your preferences are."

"I'm sorry, um, I didn't get your name."

"Oh, how rude of me. Please, call me Runic. A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, sir."

Your business smile softened as you held out a hand.

"Likewise. I'm Asgore, and this is my child, Frisk."

Asgore (why does that name sound familiar?) and you shook hands (paws?) before you crouched down.

"Hey there little buddy."

'Good afternoon, mister.'

The kid signed a greeting. It made you silently breathed out a sigh of relief at having learnt sign language back when you had been bored. You decided to communicate with them in their own language.

'Do you know what your father is looking for?'

They stared at you with surprise, before it turned into glee, their head bobbing up and down with excitement.

'A present for mom. It's going to be her birthday soon. Do you have any snail-shaped lockets?'

You tapped your chin in thought, your eyes focused on nothing in particular as you tried to recall all of the products you made.

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I don't have any snails on hand right now.'

Unexpectedly, rather than making the kid sad, they laughed silently until their eyes started to tear up. You were confused when you heard even Asgore chuckling. 

"Do forgive me for laughing, Runic. It's not at you. You made an accidental pun and... well..."

He continued to laugh good-naturedly as you rechecked your words.

Oh.

On _hand_.

Because you were signing.

You facepalmed whilst grinning.

"Now that was a slap to the face."

You winked at Frisk whilst you stood up from your crouch. 

"My apologies for not having the design you're looking for. But the good news is that I am still able to help you with acquiring your gift. At Green Heart, we have a special service that involves customization. All you have to do is describe the details to me, or even bring in a sketch. I'll need some time to custom design your locket, but I assure you of the quality."

"That's perfect! How long do you need?"

"It usually takes a week, but it might be longer if the designs are more complicated or with delicate details."

"Oh... Her birthday's in two days..."

The goat Monster looked sad, his shoulders drooping. Before you could comfort the man, you felt the side of your vest being tugged by little fingers. You raised a brow in question.

'We had searched for a whole month before ending up here. Because dad is tall with his horns, we were told that we couldn't enter the shops.'

You suspect that wasn't the case, but you didn't have the soul to tell them that. 

"I'm sorry to hear that, little buddy... But don't worry. We do advance orders as well."

That made Asgore perk up, his eyes sparkling with hope.

You heard the doorbell ring, but you paid it no mind. One of the twins would handle the incoming customers. 

"You do?!"

"Of course. At Green Heart, we try our very best to satisfy all our of customers' needs. Come, let us move to my counter. I'll sketch out a design based on your descriptions."

The sketches you made had to be altered quite a number of times, with Asgore apologizing profusely each time whilst you tried to soothe him. The end result, after an hour of discussing details, was pretty weird to you. 

It was a cute snail with an envelope on its shell.

It might sound simple, but the difficulty of this locket was the delicate details of the shell itself because there would be subtle names swirling to form a pattern. And the envelope, as well, since Asgore wanted it to be able to open as per a normal paper one, allowing for a small letter to be inserted. You would have to use soft gold for the flap and warn them to treat it with care.

"Because of the delicate designs and the request to have it done within two days' time, the price would be... $15,750."

You turned the calculator around after telling them the price.

"Golly..."

"I assure you that this is, in fact, the lowest I can give you. The gold that we use in all of our products are one hundred percent pure. Also, if we take customization into consideration, as well as the exquisite details itself, the price will rise drastically since this will be the only one in the whole world. Let us also remember that creating such a small, yet a detailed piece of work will require time and effort. And because this is a rush order... You understand, right, sir?"

"Yes. I do. This is... quite expensive... but I will buy it. Do you accept cheque?"

"You will not regret this, sir. And yes, we do."

The transaction was completed without any further issues.

"Thank you for your purchase, sir. Please come back within two working days to retrieve your locket."

"Is it alright if I come in the morning? Tori's birthday is the day itself."

"That's fine. We open at 9 AM on weekdays, and 11 AM on weekends."

"Thank you, Runic. I truly do appreciate this."

"You're welcome, Asgore. Now, I'm no expert on kids, but yours is falling asleep whilst standing."

The goat Monster chuckled softly in agreement when he saw Frisk leaning against him whilst snoring. He lifted the child up, a gentle look in his eyes before he waved and left.

You bowed whilst once again thanking them for their purchase. When you straightened up, you saw Kina waving subtly at you, the other customers surrounding her counter were too many for her to handle alone.

With a business smile plastered on your face, you made your way over.

After peak hour, you would have to leave the front to the twins whilst you busy yourself in the workroom. You also decided that you would need to make use of either of your employees to attract potential workers.

You'll leave the planning to future-you.

* * *

Every time I play an architecture game that requires strategic furniture placements, I will always end up with a simple floorplan... ( ༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe. It makes me really happy when I see you guys enjoying my stories.
> 
> Thank you for your support and positive comments! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯Seriously. It does!
> 
> P.S. I actually planned for Reader-kun to walk Papyrus home and be introduced to Sans... But my fingers betrayed me and, well, this was how it ended. ( ༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`)  
> P.P.S. I accidentally edited the damn font by habit! Orz  
> 


	6. Benedict - Count Your Blessings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff! Explanations! Fluff! And something unexpected.

You woke to an irritating beeping, feeling like the end of the world was approaching closer with every increase of volume. The only reason why you even bothered to set an alarm this early was all due to the rush order by Mr Asgore. If not, you would now be snuggling into your bone-shaped bolster and drooling on it. 

With a tired groan, you got ready for work, packing as much liquor as you could carry, before travelling through your teleportation walk-in. You exited from your workroom's locker, a scowl on your face as you donned your apron and hanged a sign stating to not be disturbed. 

You still had a few rings that were in need of 'rune-ing', and after that, you would start crafting the snail locket ASAP. 

The hours flew over your head as you're bent over the work table, hands stable and your liquor stash untouched. You couldn't afford to fuck up, and drinking would cause you to lose agility in your digits. And besides, work kept your thought occupied.

The sequenced knocking on your workroom's door announced to you that the twins were now present.

"Continue work as per normal! I'll be out for your break!"

You raised your voice so that it could be heard. There was a muffled affirmative then you were left undisturbed.

It was hours later that when your work phone rang did you decide to take a break.

"Green Hearts, how may I be of assistance?"

You slumped into the only chair in your workroom - a wooden stool with a cushion on it - whilst you spoke, a hand already reaching for a bottle of vodka. 

"H-hello. Can I speak to, uhm, Mr... how do I pronounce this...?"

You raised a brow in amusement at that. Many had trouble with pronouncing your surname, and you made it into a game of sorts to never correct them. Due to being born in an era that was even before the human-monster war, your first and middle name have been sealed by you, and many, if not all, had a hard time with speaking out your surname. 

To have sealed your own name might've seemed wholly unnecessary, but because of how greedy human nature is, giving out one's birth name could lead to enslavement. If the two parties had magic, of course. And this only applies to mages. Quite confusing, but you weren't an expert in soul magic to really know about all these shenanigans. 

Once was already enough to scar you for life.

Back then, your parents told you to go by Runic after you had been recognized for your work.

For your birth certificate... well, you changed that too often to care. You only kept your family name and then randomly flip through a baby book for a first name.

"May I know who is on the line?"

"Oh! Sorry about that. I'm Bob Turner from the Events Company Inc. Am I speaking to Mr.-"

You cut him off before he could manage to butcher your family name to hell and back. 

"Yep. And don't bother trying to pronounce my surname. It's impossible."

"T-then what should I refer to you as?"

"Sir."

"Uh, alright...? Then, sir, are you free to talk for five minutes? I need to brief you on the upcoming horror scare haunted house event organised by our company." 

"Sorry, pal, but I don't ever recall signing up for any of that shite. How did you get information about me working here, anyway?"

"Wha-? But! We have your contact number - even if it's just your workplace - and signature here..."

Your eyes were narrowed as you tried to remember ever signing up for anything silly whilst you had been drunk.

Yes, you did get married and soul-bond to another person, but that was all, right? On your worse moods, some nights were a blur, whilst others were literally blanks. 

You ended up with shrugging your shoulders as you chugged the bottle of vodka down your throat. Ah, the burn truly helps with dulling everything. Seems like you won't be continuing with the locket anytime soon today. 

"Nope," You slur out slightly. Seeing that this wasn't a customer, you relaxed your formal business attitude. "maybe I was drunk. Why don't you refresh my memory, Bobby?"

"It's Bob... Ahem. So, Halloween is just around the corner. Our company recruits actors and actresses to participate as crew members in our haunted houses. You agreed and signed up to be a... chainsaw-wielding silent hill nurse..."

You couldn't help it, you burst out cackling at that. That was soooo like drunk-you! Cross-dressing whilst being a creep? Right up drunk-you's alley!

"W-when? Hahaha!! When is this, hehe, event? And where? Oh my god, I can't!! HAHAHAA!~~"

"... Er, it's a week before Halloween. The meeting, however, is, uh, this coming Monday. 3 PM to 7 PM. Dinner will be provided. Do you know where Events Company Inc is located?"

"Yeah. Hehe. I know. Man, that was a good laugh. I'll be there."

"Just one last question, sir. Are you, uh, do you feel uncomfortable with... Monsters?"

"Hm? Monsters will be attending as well?"

"Yes. If you don't feel comfortable with them-"

"Oh, it's no problem, Bobby. It'll make haunted houses more fun with them!"

"Alright. Please make sure to attend. I will see you soon, sir."

"Sure. See you."

You would have usually waited for the customers to hand up first, but since Bobby wasn't a customer, you ended the call and stood up, excited. Now you needed to purchase some fake blood and other necessities for you to sew your own outfit. You would rather do your own makeup and wear something you made than let others do it for you. The costumes you wore during Halloween parties your employees dragged you to were sick - as what the twins always described.

Just last year, you had dressed up as a deranged psychopath covered head to toe in blood, fake skin peeling off of you and your makeup on point as you made it so that your eyes looked stitched up and your teeth sharp as a shark. You even made a cardboard butcher knife look like a real weapon - even had cops stopping you on the streets to check if they were really fake.

After having cleaned up and changed into your uniform, you stepped out of your workroom and saw someone unexpected.

Papyrus, nervously fidgeting in a seat you suspect one of the twins brought for him, looked anything but comfortable. His skull was covered with sweat, and he looked anxious to even be here since some of the humans in your shop were staring at him. 

When he saw you exit the workroom, however, he immediately lit up - only to deflate again as if he remembered something unpleasant. 

"Papyrus?!"

Shock at him really being here, you quickly strode over, your fingers twitching with skittish excitement. You thought he was avoiding your calls and messages. 

"AHEM! HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAS DEEM IT APPROPRIATE TO COME OVER AND... ASK WHY YOU ARE AVOIDING ME. I THOUGHT... WE ARE FRIENDS...?"

The confident tone gradually quietened until he was hunching in his seat. 

You, on the other hand, had your eyebrows raised so high in surprise it hurt your forehead. He thought you had been avoiding him? But how? You messaged and left missed calls for the past few days. 

Now, you would've reassured him immediately on the spot, but because many are looking at you and had no decency to provide privacy, you waved a hand and ushered him into your workroom, where even the twins had never once entered before. 

You were uncomfortable with him being in your private area, but you pushed it all away in favour of guiding him into the only seat in the room as you leaned against the wall, opposite from him.

"So... You thought I was avoiding you?"

His skull's expression turned confused as you asked him that.

"YES. I TRIED CALLING YOU, BUT YOU REJECTED ALL OF MY CALLS. AS WELL AS NOT REPLYING TO MY MESSAGES."

"Sweetheart. Can you... lend me your phone, please? Let me confirm something."

He handed you his phone easily. 

Your thumb was quick to type in your number and open up your contact - which was PRECIOUS LITTLE NUGGET, much to your amusement - and check if he had received any of your messages. When you, however, see that the number was blocked... Your left eye twitched.

"Papy... Sweetheart... You blocked my number."

"WHAT? YOU MUST BE WRONG, HUMAN. IF I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, REFUSES TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE, I WILL TELL THEM STRAIGHT UP THAT I DO NOT ENJOY THEIR COMPANY. I AM NOT MEAN ENOUGH TO PLAY WITH THEIR FEELINGS!"

"See here?" You moved closer to him as you showed him the screen. "This means that my number is blocked. But, that's weird. If my number is blocked, you will still be able to contact me - just not the other way around."

"HMM... WAIT. I HAVE AN IDEA!"

The tall skeleton, who reached your shoulders even when he was sitting, scrolls down his contact list and stopped at P. There was two 'PRECIOUS LITTLE NUGGET' listed there - and by the way his eyesockets widened, you had a feeling that someone had gone through his phone. 

Papyrus tapped the one he had been calling and placed it on loudspeaker mode. The call rang twice before it was cut off, your phone silent in your hands. Both of you stared at each other with furrowed brows. 

You pressed the contact and scrunched up your nose when you saw the number.

"That's not my number..."

"AND I DON'T RECALL EVER HAVING MADE TWO OF THE SAME CONTACT NAMES."

"Let's delete this one and unblock mine."

With that settled, your shoulders relaxed and you hugged the skeleton, which was returned with enthusiasm.

"Look, Papyrus. I'm so sorry for yelling at you. I was just... so worried. I didn't mean to treat you like a babybones. I'm afraid that... someone might dust you on your way back."

"I UNDERSTAND, FRIEND. AND I HAVE ALREADY FORGIVEN YOU. I'M ALSO SORRY FOR WALKING AWAY. I KNOW THAT YOU WORRY FOR MY SAFETY."

"You have nothing to apologise for, sweetheart. I'm paranoid and suspicious of everyone - humans especially. You, on the other hand, see the good within everybody. I am the opposite. I can't help but see the bad side of everyone."

"IS... IS THAT WHY YOU DRINK LIQUOR OFTEN?"

Papyrus pulled away slightly so that you could see the disapproval and worry on his skull. You had thought that he had not notice, but apparently, you were wrong. This Monster truly was astute in his observations.

"That's how I cope, Papy. I can't calm down without alcohol in my system. If I don't drink, I'll be looking over my shoulder every minute. Or worse."

"NYEH? DO YOU MIND ME ASKING WHY, FRIEND? YOU CAN TRUST ME. I WILL NEVER JUDGE YOU NOR WILL I EVER LEAVE YOU. I AM SOMEONE WHO IS VERY HARD TO GET RID OF! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"

You can't help but smile - a small one - at his confidence. You decided to tell him the barebones. 

"I, uh, did some bad stuff in the past. Very bad. And the guilt - well, it crushes me. Not only that, I've been through... bad things, too. It makes me, er, distrustful of others. I don't know when my back will be stabbed when it's turned."

"FIRST, LET ME ADDRESS THIS ISSUE. DO YOU REGRET WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?"

"Every single second of my life."

"FOR HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING THIS?"

"Long enough."

"AND ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS; BAD STUFF?"

"No! It's... I will never, ever, do that again. Even if they threaten me... I won't do it. My life isn't worth it."

"FRIEND. I WILL NOT PUSH YOU INTO TELLING ME EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, BUT DO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED A LISTENING EAR - AND IF POSSIBLE, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO COME TO ME IF ONE OF YOUR MOOD COMES. NO, DON'T DENY IT. MY BROTHER... HE HAS DEPRESSION, AS MUCH AS HE DENIES IT, SO I KNOW THAT ONCE THE MOOD HITS, YOU WILL TRY TO DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT GO AWAY. FOR YOU, IT IS DROWNING YOURSELF IN ALCOHOL."

"I think you'll make a good nurse. Or therapist."

"THANK YOU. SO WILL YOU TRY?"

"Hm?"

"COMING TO ME WHEN THE MOOD HITS. OR IF THE GUILT IS TOO HEAVY TO BEAR. I WILL DO MY BEST TO DISTRACT YOU AWAY FROM THOSE DARK THOUGHTS - AND WE CAN DO SOMETHING MUCH HEALTHIER THAN DROWNING EVERYTHING IN ALCOHOL."

"I-I don't know, Papy. I've been doing this for a very long time. I'm not sure if I can stop."

"YOU CAN! I BELIEVE IN YOU! WE'LL START SLOW. BABY STEPS!"

"Oh... You don't have to concern yourself with my issues... But, thank you, sweetheart."

"NONSENSE! I AM YOUR FRIEND, THUS, I WANT TO HELP."

Papyrus pulled you in for another hug, and you couldn't resist leaning heavily against him, having been manhandled into sitting on his femurs. 

For the first time in a very long time... You felt safe from the world. Safe from your own self-hatred. And finally, you felt your very soul is safe from yourself. When in the arms of this Monster, you just wanted to leave everything to him.

...

..

.

But you know you can't.

You don't realise it, but Papyrus's eyesockets were narrowed, a dangerous look on his skull as he thinks of why you said that your life wasn't worth it... and who would dare to threaten who he considered as his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support and positive comments! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)
> 
> You guys sure are expecting a lot when asking about when Reader-kun will do something about the runes at the other mage's house. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten. Although I am wholly tempted to make Reader-kun go there for a minute or two and it all ended up anti-climatic because everything is ok. Ah, but I'm not so mean. Maybe?
> 
> P.S. I will be moving overseas to start University soon. My updates will not be as frequent, and it might even take me months. But don't worry! Due to my love for writing... I will try my best. (ง •̀ω•́)ง✧
> 
> P.P.S. I'm not one to go for a polyamorous relationship, or even read/write one, but I'm so torn between choosing Sans or Papyrus. Seriously. Those two are killing me! So I'll leave it up to you guys! Tell me, readers, **do you want this to be a Sans/Reader/Papyrus pairing or a Sans/Reader pairing?** I can't suddenly change this to a Papyrus/Reader pairing, though, because the plot has already been progressing and to twist it will need me to change everything. And I'm too lazy!


	7. Nogo Vodka - X marks the shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally got a male employee. ୧⍢⃝୨

You jolted awake to an unpleasant memory, but surprisingly, no killer hangover was felt. 

With a few flips and turns, you tried to find a better position to fall back into Morpheus's embrace, and having almost succeeded... you wailed in misery when the alarm rang. You swore that 7 AM gets earlier with each passing day. 

As you busy with pretending to be one with the mattress, you contemplated whether your life has any meaning left to bother getting out of bed. Your mind came up - unsurprisingly - empty. It took a couple more minutes of telling yourself that there was still purpose in life did you finally haul yourself up.

Your clients were waiting for their orders, and you'd rather commit patricide than to apologize for delays.

And that would be hard to accomplish since your dad was already 6 feet under. Or perhaps more due to the expansion of modern houses and buildings. Where was his grave situated at again?

Moving on.

You grabbed a glass of scotch as you passed by the kitchen's bar area, your eyes half-lidded as you told the GPS in your head that your destination was the showers. You only realized you had a drink in hand when you almost spilt it whilst prying the onesie off your body. Muscle memory was creepy like that - what with your body doing things without you even realizing.

You let the Minion onesie (when did you get this, anyway?) pool around your feet as you tipped your head back with a hand on your hip. The moment the liquor hits your lips, however, you recalled Papyrus's words. Your body froze as your mind once again contemplates on the pros and cons of having just ONE shot.

It was of no surprise when you ended up with a half-hearted solution -

_'I mean, people drink coffee to stay awake, right? I'm just having something different. But with the same purpose.'_

- with a dose of temptation.

Without further ado, your lips parted as you allowed the burning liquid to enter your mouth and slide down your throat,  _scotch_ ing your stomach. 

You were giggling at the pun you made before a tsunami of negative emotions washed away the humour. Those feelings only intensified when you became aware that you had broken yet another promise. And this time, it wasn't even your own. It was your friend's. The only one who bothered to sincerely offer assistance after finding out about your disgusting coping methods. 

Care to take a guess of the best method to drown a person's guilt?

Alcohol. 

Lots of it.

Your body was shaking uncontrollably as you rushed to the kitchen, not even caring about your lack of decency, and violently open the small cabinet that stored all of your highest alcohol percentage drinks. You pried open the cap of a spirytus vodka bottle with trembling fingers.

Your legs folded underneath of you as you desperately chugged the fiery liquid in one go, not bothering to stop even when you choked as it entered your lungs - not until the bottle was empty, that is. Your oesophagus screamed at the abuse whilst your stomach churned and seethed - trying to futilely fight the liquor that was literally melting the lining that protects it. 

A mess.

You were a mess, hunched across the kitchen floor on your hands and knees, with tears and snot running down your flushed cheeks. The battle against your gag reflex was difficult, but you forced yourself to swallow down the bile and undigested liquor. 

You refused to end your suffering. 

With your mind in such a disastrous state, you even threw a pastel pink ring off your right pinky finger, not even caring that it rolled under one of the furniture and would be a pain to search for later. 

The ring was a preventive measure and kept a selective number of your organs from decomposing due to old age and over drinking. Once it is taken off... the effects of the runes will disappear from your body and bring forth unpleasant results. That ring halted your liver, kidney, and stomach from deteriorating... so without it, the organs were now back to its original state of decay. 

Even when your body collapsed onto the floor - your weak limbs unable to bear your weight - you smiled dementedly, your mind loving every bit of agony you felt.

The fetid smell was proof that you were rotten from the inside out. 

The bitter tang of putrid blood you tasted on your tongue was even delicious to your delirium mind.

You deserved all of this! Maybe even tenfold of it! 

Your dilated pupils made it hard to see, but you tried to focus your sight onto the other rings on your twitching fingers. 

More.

You needed to feel _**M O R E**_  pain.

To further increase your punishment. 

Because you couldn't even last a single day - no, you couldn't even last a few hours.

You deserved every bit of it, you pathetic, insignificant, brainless fuck!

* * *

Green Heart (was it with or without an S? You couldn't quite recall, exactly) was already filled with customers when you entered through the front door. 

Usually, you would already be here before your employees even opened the store, since you didn't want others to be suspicious of how you appeared in your workroom when it was previously empty. But because of how bad your morning went, you only managed to ready yourself for work after half a day has passed by.

So here you were, after lunch hour, with bloodshot eyes, dark circles, dishevelled hair, and body language that screamed 'utterly exhausted'. 

With your head down and your fringe shadowing most of your features, the regular clients don't recognize you. You were just another person in the crowd, and for that, you were thankful.

You silently went into your workroom, completely missing the anxious and worried looks you got from the twins.

After you changed into your three-piece suit uniform, you used a concealer stick to hide the dark circles under your eyes, whilst also making sure to add colour to your face.

As you sprayed cologne on your clothes whilst chewing a breath mint, you idly wondered why the majority of men tended to have a stigma against other men who wear make-up. These things were **very** useful. Your eyes scanned your features, noting how healthy and natural you appeared now. 

Satisfied with your work, you then placed your hands on the sink's brim, eyes focused as you forced your lips into a smile. 

 _No. Left side is a little down. Now the right is imbalanced. Too high. Gosh, stop that! You look creepy! No, that looks like you're constipated._ _Alright, perfect._

With your usual business smile in place, you stepped out of the workroom and greeted the nearest customer immediately. 

"Hello, sir. Welcome to Green Hearts. Are you in need of assistance?"

"Nah, just browsing."

The annoyance - not customer - walked away as he continued to 'sightsee'. 

_Don't come into my shop just to browse, you fucker!_

You hated those types. Window shoppers were an eyesore. Especially when they crowd with no intention of purchasing anything.

Without showing your displeasure, you continued asking around if they needed assistance. When you received only negative responses, you headed to your station and stood behind the counter. With your business smile still in place, you flip open your work-related laptop and read through some documents. Better to do something productive. 

You suddenly paused at the page that showed the list of clients that have received their customized products today.

It seems that whilst you were busy with having a breakdown, your two Monster clients had stopped by and picked up their respective accessories. Two wedding bands for the fish Monster, and a snail locket for the goat Monster. 

You held in a disappointed sigh. You preferred to hand over customized products yourself since you wanted to get their reviews. And in the case which someone was to be unhappy with their purchase, you could've made adjustments right there and then so that they would leave satisfied.

Hopefully, those two were happy with the jewellery you had crafted for them and spread good words about your brand. 

After an hour or two of focusing on the electronic paperwork, you almost socked the person who had touched your shoulder.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you, boss. But I just remembered about an applicant this morning..."

Kira, the mother hen of the pair, trailed off as she handed the papers to you. Her expression was peculiar, but you paid it no mind, knowing that if there was any problem, she would speak her mind. 

"No worries, darling. Any thoughts?"

"Yep. I have a good feeling about this one. Ah, sorry, boss. Customer's calling. Busy day."

You waved her away with a quiet thanks before you read through the application.

The second your eyes landed on the applicant's name, they widened in surprise. Even your business smile slipped due to your bewilderment. 

Why?

Because it was Papyrus's.

You scanned through the pages, noting that he does live in the slums, before moving on and reading about his job history. It was quite shocking to note that he used to work at Macca's. Papyrus hated anything with grease, but you know that Monsters, in general, have a hard time getting employed due to racism. Even after three years of being on the surface. 

At the last section for additional comments, the tall skeleton even wrote a personal note, stating that if he had not met the requirements, you did not have to feel obliged to employ him just because you two were friends.

Without your knowledge, your expression softened into fondness as you quietly chuckled under your breath. 

To be honest, you preferred not to mix personal life with work. It would only bring trouble in the future. So when you do reach for your shop's telephone, you had already planned to ask during the interview if he would be able to arrive earlier for work, whilst also going back late, because you needed to teach him about your products and shop rules. On the job training, as others called it. 

The phone rang twice before the call was answered. 

"Hello. My designation is Runic and I'm calling from Green Heart. May I know if I am speaking to Mr Papyrus Esqueleto, please?"

"YE-Yes! Hello!"

He even made sure to use his indoors voice.

That's good.

Although he does sound downright nervous right now.

You were tempted to snicker, but you firmly withheld it even when your lips stretched upwards. 

"Excellent. May I confirm with you that you did, in fact, submit an application for employment to our shop?"

"I Did."

"Lovely. Will you be available tomorrow morning for an interview?"

"Yes! Of Course!"

"Perfect. Then, please, come to the shop between 10 and 11. Are there any questions you would like to ask before we end this call?"

"No."

"Very well. Have a good day, Mr Esqueleto."

"Thank You. You Too, Sir."

You waited for the skeleton to end the call, but after a minute has passed by, he was still on the line.

Before you could question him, though, you heard him mutter something before his voice was clearly heard through the receiver.

"Is It Alright If I talk To My Friend Now?"

"Pfftt! Yes, sweetheart. We, heh, already ended the formal convo. So, ahem, what's up?"

You relaxed your ramrod posture a little as you leaned your elbows against the showcase counter. The shop wasn't that crowded now, so your conversation would not be overheard by nosy customers who had nothing better to do than to eavesdrop.

"AUDIBLE SIGH! YOUR PROFESSIONAL WAY OF TALKING REALLY IS INTIMIDATING, FRIEND. I'M ACTUALLY IN NEED FOR ADVICE."

"I hear that a lot. Don't worry, though, sweetheart, I'm much too lazy to keep up with such bullshite when there are no customers to judge us. It gets pretty stifling after a while. What kind of advice do you need? I'll try my best to help."

"WELL, AS MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT IT, I AM WHOLLY UNPREPARED FOR AN INTERVIEW AT SUCH A WELL REPUTATED SHOP. WILL YOU BE AVAILABLE TO GO SHOPPING WITH ME IN SEARCH OF AN OUTFIT TO WEAR FOR TOMORROW? I DO, HOWEVER, UNDERSTAND IF YOU ARE BUSY."

"Sure. How about I meet you at the shop in about an hour's time? We can have dinner afterwards if you don't mind?"

"WOWIE! THANK YOU! I AM TRULY HAPPY TO HAVE SUCH A RELIABLE FRIEND! WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE A GREAT FRIEND. BECAUSE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE ONLY GREAT FRIENDS! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!"

You both ended up talking for another ten minutes before you were forced to end the call when a customer stood patiently in front of your counter. 

As per usual, you brought up an absolutely fake business smile and welcomed them into the shop, as well as asking if they needed assistance. 

Forty-five minutes later and you're out of your uniform and in front of your shop, a cigarette in between your lips as you waited for Papyrus. The twins were hesitant to allow you to leave early, but after a secretive conversation with each other, they shoo-ed you away with bright smiles on their faces. 

Weirdos.

You chuckled under your breath, the smoke you exhaled appeared as if it was dancing in the air before it dissipated into the sky. You really were lucky to get such understanding employees. Their beauty also attracted a lot of customers. Which was a bonus. 

 ~~If~~ When Papyrus passes the interview tomorrow (because you were absolutely confident that he could ace anything if he put his mind into it), you wondered if other Monsters would finally feel more comfortable with entering your shop. You hope so. Monsters were rich. And you, as a person who has a deep obsession with money, love having wealthy customers/clients.

You must've spaced out because one moment you were inhaling your cancer stick, the next, said stick was underneath a bright red boot.

You blinked a few times, before exhaling slowly as your eyes traced the foot, to the extremely skinny leg, and up to the grinning skull of Papyrus.

He looks pissed. But that might've just been your imagination because he was certainly grinning. 

"Uh, hi, Papy. You look nice."

And he did.

He was wearing an orange turtleneck with grey trousers, a collection of red boots, scarf, mittens, and beanie, as well as a worn out but definitely cared for messenger bag. 

You decided that if he wore a pendant, it would definitely complete the look and make him appear more dashing. You made a mental note to craft a special pendant for him - and the chain long enough so that it would show even when he wears a scarf. 

"GREETINGS, HUMAN FRIEND! DID I MAKE YOU WAIT LONG?"

"Not at all, sweetheart. So where are we heading off to first?"

You popped a breath mint as the two of you started walking side by side, the expression on Papyrus's skull softening into a small yet pleasant smile. 

"A CLOTHING STORE. I AM UNSURE WHAT TO WEAR."

"Hm. Well, normally, interviewers would judge the candidates based on their first impression. So a smart-casual attire. Nothing too fancy. Actually, your clothing can already be considered to be tidy - so we'll just add a blazer to your ensemble. Everything looks neater with a blazer."

The nearest shop that sold pre-made blazers was just around the corner, so you grabbed Papyrus's mitten-clad hand and pulled him towards it. The crowd was getting bigger due to the timing, and even when Papyrus was easily the tallest, getting separated would be troublesome - especially with all those anti-monster groups being so noisy lately.

When you pushed the glass door open and step inside, you saw a couple of people grimacing at your friend, as well as a few sales assistants purposefully turning away - not wanting to attend to someone accompanying a Monster. 

You rolled your eyes at them but didn't release your hold on Papyrus's hand. You were a little worried that he was feeling cold from the temperature because of how stiff his body was, and how brightly orange his skull was. To help him regain some warmth, you stood close to him as you guided him to the blazer section.

"So what will you be wearing tomorrow?"

"UH, I'll Be Wearing A Shirt Of The Same Design But In Black."

"A turtleneck shirt in black? Hm. Black matches well with grey. Let's go with a grey blazer." You freed your hand to pick a blazer that appeared to fit Papyrus. "Do you have trousers of similar colour to this?"

"I Don't."

"Try this on with this. Let's take a couple more in different sizes just in case."

After shoving the skeleton into the nearest changing room, trousers and blazers in hand, you glared at the people who were whispering shite about your friend. 

"Excuse me? Sir?"

A voice called out to you. He appeared to be the manager, judging by the uniform and tag he wore. He was also sweating as his eyes flicked from the changing room to you, then back again. 

"What?"

And if your tone was borderline rude... You gave no fucks.

"Uh, that... That is. The s-shop. Uhm. Monsters aren't- uh. I mean... Monsters are not allowed. To shop here."

You made sure to lower your voice as you step further away from the changing room, not wanting Papyrus to hear you rip this human a new hole. Sadly, it wouldn't be in the literal sense. Too bad this was the modern era. Because if this was the olden war-filled days, human lives weren't even worth a loaf of bread. 

"I beg your pardon? Am I hearing you right? Did you just say that Monsters are not permitted in this shop, or is that just my imagination?"

"Ye-yes. I'm sorry, s-sir. But we don't s-serve M-monsters..."

"Why?"

"S-sorry?"

"Why are Monsters not allowed here? I don't see you disallowing any other races from shopping here."

"T-that. Only humans are allowed. Monsters don't deserve to shop here-"

"The law states that Monsters have the same rights and privileges as humans do. By refusing a customer based on their race, sexual orientation, religion, disability, and any other categories, you are basically announcing to the world that you are above the law. Do I need to call my lawyer to sue you for defamation, emotional distress, racial discrimination... Need I go on? "

"N-n-no! No, sir! My a-apologies. J-just... Shit... I'm sorry..."

"We'll be out of this place soon enough. So I expect basic courtesy from you and your staff whilst we pay for the clothes, and then, maybe, just maybe, I'll not forcefully shut this place down. Know your customers better, boy, because the next person you offend won't be as merciful as I am."

You were in his face, just centimetres apart, simply enjoying his expression of fear.

It was only when you heard the changing room's door open behind of you did you blink and take a step back. A smile was already back in place as you faced the skeleton, not minding the manager that scrambled away immediately. 

"How Do I Look, Friend? Is This Acceptable?"

"You look stunning, sweetheart." 

Papyrus looked good.

Mhm.

You gave a thumbs up before shooing him back to change, completely missing the shy expression he wore when you complimented him. 

After a few more minutes in the store, Papyrus paid for his clothes and the two of you left without issues.

A shoe store was next on their list, and luckily, the sales assistant behaved respectably, not even batting an eyelid at the sight of a walking, talking, and breathing skeleton.

And now, after purchasing whatever else Papyrus wanted to buy, it was finally time for dinner. You were starving since you have not eaten anything but breath mints throughout the day. The restaurant he picked was a place called Muffet's, and you didn't even realize there was a Monster restaurant in this shopping district. Just shows how much of an introvert you truly were. 

The two of you sat at the furthest in the back. 

When Papyrus excused himself to answer a phone call, you flipped lazily through the menu - more than a little amused at how it was filled 3/4 with desserts - whilst using a hand to skillfully twist open the cap of your flask. Without even realizing, you had poured the clear liquor into a glass cup the restaurant provided. A minute later and you're already raising the cup to your lips.

"FRIEND. MAY I HAVE THAT, PLEASE?"

You were startled out from your reading at Papyrus's voice. 

"Hm? Pardon?"

"THE GLASS CUP. I WOULD PREFER IF WE SWAPPED."

When you look at where he was pointing with confusion in your eyes, your throat closed up and you unconsciously made a soft keening sound. 

Not again!

And in front of Papyrus, too! 

Gods, why were you so pathetic?! 

Your hand, which was pale and trembling, was engulfed in gentle, bony digits. 

"IT'S ALRIGHT. SHHH. I'M HERE. I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE."

He was warm.

"BABY STEPS. REMEMBER? YOU'RE ALREADY DOING SO WELL. YOU DIDN'T DRINK AT ALL WHEN WE WERE SHOPPING."

Your stiff fingers were soon coaxed into releasing the cup, but his hands returned to intertwine your digits together almost immediately after he pushed the cup away.

"GOOD. GOOD BOY. I'M PROUD. SO PROUD OF YOU, RUNIC. YOU'RE GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. I PROMISE I'LL HELP YOU THROUGH YOUR RECOVERY. DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO BE FINE SOON."

"... I know."

You didn't dare to look Papyrus in the eyesockets. As much as you **want** to believe in HIS words, you doubted you can. You were beyond broken. And you felt like scum for not putting your trust in him.

"Have you decided on what to order?"

Changing the topic.

Classic of you. 

Papyrus's fingers slipped away from yours (and if your hands had twitch to refrain them from retreating, that was only your imagination) and he went to sit on the opposite seat. When he turned his gaze away to gesture for a nearby waiter, you let out a sigh of relief.

"YES. WHAT ABOUT YOU, DEAR FRIEND?"

"Seeing as how there's more dessert than an actual meal here... I want the whole Purple Spider Cake. Go big or go home, right, sweetheart?"

You threw a wink at the skeleton - who turned slightly orange - when he sighed loudly.

"AUDIBLE SIGH! I WOULD USUALLY DISAPPROVE OF CAKE BEING DINNER, BUT I SUPPOSE AN EXCEPTION COULD BE MADE. YOU'RE FAR TOO SKINNY."

"And here I thought skeletons would love to see my _bone_ more than my _meat_."

"NYEH!!! H-H-HUMAN! HOW IMPROPER!!"

"D'awww! But you were practically asking for it, Paps!"

"I ASKED FOR NO SUCH THING!"

"But you're smiling~"

"BECAUSE I'M A SKELETON!!"

The two of you bantered back and forth, only stopping for a short moment to give your orders to the waiter, before continuing through the meal. 

It was fun.

Hanging out with Papyrus was always an enjoyment. 

 

* * *

 

The next day, as you have predicted... Papyrus did astoundingly well during the interview.

You hired him immediately, and because he insisted that he be trained as soon as possible, you guided him around the shop, listing out details of your products whilst also allowing him to familiarize with the placements. 

...

..

.

You never did tell him about your breakdown after you had returned home from dinner. Nor the one before that. Or after that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wha-...?! You, my dear readers, are all **definitely** Undertale _Trash_. Practically all of you voted for a poly relationship. I swear... Are there no sane people in this fandom? (」゜ロ゜)」See how one-sided the results are!  
>  Yes Poly: 14  
> NO Poly: 0  
> Either is fine: 1  
> Sans/Reader but don't really mind either way: 3
> 
> This will officially turn into a Sans/Reader/Papyrus pairing starting from now onwards. Sinful and greedy readers, you just can't settle for 1 skelebro, huh? Now there are **THREE** _swords_ in play (♡´艸`)
> 
>  **Blatant advertising** : Please read my latest fic [Your 'hateful' Neighbours](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13782981)
> 
> Thank you for your support and positive comments! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯
> 
> P.S. Oh, yeah. Before I forgot... I won't be able to update as frequently now. Uni's a scornful bitch. But, don't worry. I love writing. So I'll do my best!
> 
> P.P.S. So how do you guys like the angst and self-harm of this chapter? I was kind of thinking of wrist or thigh cutting, but my plot bunnies told me that that might potentially trigger people or something. And that I would have to add a warning above. So we went to decayed organs instead. Hope you guys appreciated the change! ٩(^ᴗ^)۶
> 
> P.P.P.S. Please don't try to call any of the phone numbers listed on Papy's job application. If it wasn't obvious enough... They're fake. (－‸ლ) Oh, and the address too.


	8. Pride Brew - Swallow me, bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys excited to finally see Sans after... 7 chapters?!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Heads up!**  
>  There will be A LOT of OC introductions this chapter, but you can ignore them all. Just keep **Crimson, Teal, and Yellow** in mind and you're fine. You can kind of see that the rest of the OCs are half-assed because I don't care if they exist or not. So... Yeah.

Time sure flies when you're having fun.

It has been an excitable few days with your friend-turned-employee. The twins were welcoming to their new colleague, and just as you have predicted, Monsters have started to gain interest in your brand/shop. Papyrus, it seems, was a really popular guy back Underground. There were, of course, quite a number of racist bigots, but unexpectedly, you didn't even have to personally reprimand or kick them out because the twins would do so for you. They were VERY protective of Papyrus.

Well, who wouldn't be? 

Such a precious cinnamon roll. 

And boy, was his expression priceless when he found out that you were the owner of Green Heart. You waved off his awe, however, and explained humbly that it was your 'great-grandfather' who moulded Green Heart into what it was today, whilst your 'grandfather' was the one who expended the business worldwide. Your 'mother' also helped with opening a lot of opportunities with social media. You, on the other hand, preferred to simply work in one place and be done with it.

Of course, you didn't tell him that you were your own 'great-grandfather', or that your whole family tree consists of you with different names. As much as living as a crossdresser at certain generations were fun, you preferred to be the only one who knew about that. So, nope. Your 'family' were not you. Obviously. Which human could live that long?

"Earth to boss - are you listening?"

Kina whined as she poked your arm.

"I am."

You pushed her prodding finger away whilst rolling your eyes at her. 

On the other side of the shop, you saw Kira mentoring Papyrus on the do's and don'ts when opening the shop. 

"Really? Then what had I been saying?"

"Nacho flavoured sunscreen."

"... Are you hungry? Please tell me you didn't eat sunscreen as a dipper for your tortilla chips."

"What? No. Are you crazy?"

"Argh! That means you weren't paying attention! I was asking about this. T. H. I. S."

Her soft-looking cocoa hand slid an envelope towards you, her bottom lip jutting out as she pouted. You chuckled as you patted her hair as if she was a child, before quickly grabbing the given envelope and backing away from her.

You casually sidestepped her kick-to-the-shin whilst reading the letter inside. 

Whilst you and her 'danced' around the empty shop, making sure to not accidentally disturb any of the merchandise, your eyes continued to scan the words. By the end of the letter, you felt the string of patience in your head snap like a rubber band. 

You made sure to keep your facial expression relaxed, however, even when your fingers creased it due to your tight grip. You then smoothened the paper, folded, and kept it inside your inner pocket. 

When Kina finally stopped trying to hit you, you rudely laughed in her face as she panted with her hands on her knees, looking deliciously flushed and out of breath. 

"You... haa... just wait... haa haa... fuck..."

"Language, sister!"

The younger twin slapped Kina over the head whilst looking disapprovingly at her. Then she turned to you, who raised your hands in a calming gesture.

"Now now-"

"Don't you 'now now' me, mister! What if a customer enters and saw how childish you two were behaving? You're setting a very bad example to our new colleague."

She patted Papyrus's humerus as she gave you a scowl. The skeleton, on the other hand, had a ~~cute~~  funny expression on his skull. 

"We can't take things too seriously, Kira dear. Just take a look at our stiff competitors sandwiching us. Green Hearts gets thrice the number of customers because we're polite yet have an easy and friendly attitude. To our left, and unlike us, Divad Namruy, have their heads so high up in their arses that no sane customer would ever want to step foot inside. Same goes for our right, the ever pompous Yrrah Notsniw."

"It's Green Heart without the S."

"Uh, yeah. Green Heart. Whoops."

"Boss." The motherly woman narrowed her eyes whilst pointing to the door."May I have a word with you alone, please?"

You shrugged as you followed after her, making sure to throw the bird at a boisterously laughing Kina, and a reassuring smile to the bewildered Papyrus. He was probably wondering why you, the boss, allowed yourself to be bossed by an employee. Well, soon enough, he will learn that this wasn't just a workplace to the three of you. Everyone in this branch was considered family.

The moment the door closed behind of you, you leaned against it whilst eyeing Kira, who had replaced her angry scowl into a sultry smile. 

Noting the signal, you waited patiently as she moved closer. She paused before she could breach your personal space, however, and waited for your nod before she continued in her steps. 

Kira was now in your personal bubble, and to others, it might even appear as if the two of you were sharing an intimate moment. Luckily, the streets were clear of passersby since it was still early. As much as you were fine with being unprofessional at times, the employees of Green Hearts still have a reputation to uphold. And hugging in front of the shop in their uniforms were anything but professional. 

"Signor has made his move."

Her hands were on your cloth chest as she leaned her body against yours, her lips just inches away as both your breaths mingled together. Your hands were resting on her waist, making sure to be respectful of her comfort zone as you stared into the eyes of your double agent. Or was it triple? Quadruple? 

"Peculiar. I was expecting to have at least another month of time."

"That's because you hired Papyrus."

When your fingers curled in warning, the woman gave an apologetic smile.

"What of it?"

"I apologise. I structured my words incorrectly. What I meant to say was - he fears that by hiring the mascot, you would gain more support from Monsterkind. And by getting their support, the others would flock to you. The scale would be tipped in your favour." 

"Mascot, huh...? It's no wonder Papyrus is so popular amongst his kind. I understand now why Signor feels threatened. Not surprising since he's as cowardly as they come. Argh, why did 'father' even hire him? Forget it. I'll deal with him soon enough. What of the Dame?"

"She is still wary of the missing Madam, so she insists on holding her cards close. She will only move once your mother's death is confirmed."

"Perfect. At least I don't have to worry about her just yet. Keep leaving breadcrumbs for her. We don't want her to know 'mother dearest' has already moved on. Now, darling, please do let it slip that I will be doing a surprise audit in a month's time. I'm sure Signor's records would be sparkling clean by then, but I want you to hire a trusted worker with high enough access to inspect the board of any signs of laddering as soon as you go for your break later on."

"May I ask why? It would be easier to ask your IT guy to hack through the system and attain the data."

You brushed a strand away from her face and tucked it behind her ear lovingly. Whilst your body language screams 'adoration', your eyes continued to subtly scan the streets. Constant vigilance. 

"Oh, my dear, you need to think of the long run. The only reason why I turned a blind eye to his laundering is because I want to use him as an example. Also, the pieces of evidence you attain from illegal means are not useful in court - especially when the judge is corrupt. So we need to thoroughly verify that yes, everything was obtained legally. And when I do make a 'surprise audit', the proof that he did, in fact, tamper with the company's records will show that he is a dishonest man. If we are lucky, his lackeys will be caught along with him, and their sentence extended."

"Ah! I see. I'll be sure to do my best, then."

"Thank you. Any other news I need to know?"

"Ace has been doing everything you ordered to perfection. He has also recently created a new division for the protection of Monsters. As for Jester... They're hard to read."

"You can loosen the surveillance on Ace, but remain vigilant. The heart can be easily moved by greed, after all. As for Jester - their loyalty to me is more than enough. Continue exchanging information with them whenever, but I must remind you, however, to tread lightly. They are not someone you want to anger."

"Yes, sir."

"Anything else?

"Nothing important enough to trouble you, boss."

"If that is all, I'll be gone for an hour - maybe two. And at most, I'll be back after lunch. Take good care of Papyrus whilst I'm away, Kira."

She nodded. Then, without warning, she planted her soft lips against yours, her tongue prodding for entrance. You allowed it after a split second and gently tilted her head back, gaining more access into her cavern.

The kiss was wet and lewd, and when your thumb drew circles on her waist, she moaned wantonly. You saw her legs clamp together as she squirmed, her arms hooked firmly around your neck for support.

You ignored the feeling of her perky breasts against your chest, not at all surprised that she wasn't wearing a bra. The uniform was thick enough to cover that fact. But apparently, it wasn't enough to entirely hide her hardened nipples from showing. 

One of your hands moved lower so that you were slightly kneading her round globes, whilst the other massaged her scalp, scratching once in a while.

It was only after your skilful tongue rolled a small capsule into your mouth did you end the moderately long snogging session.

When you both parted, she was breathing heavily with a slight blush on her cheeks. She patted down her attire, and after putting on a tender smile, she re-entered the shop, ending the conversation as abruptly as she started it.

The perks of an agent, you suppose.

You pulled out a handkerchief, and as you wiped your lips to remove the lipstick residue, you delicately pushed the capsule in it. After neatly folding the cloth and putting it back into your pockets, you walked away from the shop.

* * *

You stood just by the entrance gate of the mayor's mansion, your uniform covered by a khaki parka, and your neck kept warm by the faux fur hood. 

You shoved your hands into the pockets as you walked over to the guard house.

"Halt! Who goes there?"

Whilst the guards in their Halloween-like uniforms stopped you, your mind was 'boo-ing' at them for their way of talking. That kind of speech has been outdated decades ago.

"I've been invited by the mayor and his guests."

"I've not heard from the duke that he will be having an additional guest over. Especially one dressed so inconspicuously."

"Outdated. Hurry up and call them. Make sure to drop my name in - it's Fukya Porkchop. Well? What are you standing around for? I'm freezing over here."

One of the guards nodded to his partner, a silent conversation that ensured that the other would watch over you whilst he makes the call. 

You huffed. 

What rude guards.

Just because you wore a plastic minion mask doesn't mean you're a suspicious person.

The letter advice for you to hide your identity, and although you would usually ignore them, it sounded as if they were bringing mundane humans into the meeting (no idea why). And you would rather commit matricide than allow them to know of your identity as a Magus. You've learnt that humans were overly obsessed with wanting powers for themselves, so it was for the best to remain anonymous.

So on the way over, you bought a random mask. The cheapest was this yellow monstrosity with LED lights, so with amusement, you purchased it. It was a consumable item, anyway - a one-time thing.

Future-you would look back at this moment and wish for present-you's death. 

But for now, you were oblivious. 

"The duke has approved of your attendance. I will be your guide."

You rolled your eyes at the guard's speech, and as if to annoy the living daylights out of him, you turned the LED lights on. He squinted and turned away from your neon yellow mask, an angry scowl on his face.

Not even caring about how childish you were acting, you laughed without restraint. 

Whilst you were here, you would act your damnest to irritate and anger the council of mages. You hated being at their beck and call, but if you had no other choice, you would at least attend with a sassy attitude.

The moment you were in front of the door, you kicked it open, ignoring the guard's strangled cussing. 

You walked in without a care, even when the maids and butlers flocked you as if to stop you from advancing. 

"Leave him be."

A booming voice was heard from the top of the stairs, where a portly man in his 40s stood, his moustache bouncing along with his rounded cheeks.

He somewhat reminds you of a mochi. If mochis had moustaches and were wearing clothes that belonged in the middle ages, that was. You shuddered at the memory of having actually worn that long ago. It was itchy, stiff, hot, and beyond uncomfortable. It was no wonder you preferred comfort over fashion. 

"Make haste."

Again, you rolled your eyes as you trod up the stairs, following behind the wannabe medieval duke.

The both of you entered a meeting room that was twice as big as your shop. The walls were, much to your disgust, covered with weird paintings and carpets, making you want to puke at such tacky decorating (they changed the decorations again). There used to be a roundtable, but now, a long, rectangular one was situated in the middle, with half of it filled with the council. Sat on their opposite was the three mundane humans as you've been expecting, but the Monsters were not within your calculations. Nope. That was shocking.

Your steps paused for a split second before you continued as if everything was normal. On your way to the last empty seat, you observed the mundane humans first.

You partially recognized the fifty-something-year-old man with greying neat hair and baby blue eyes to be a famous lawyer, though you can't recall his name. He was wearing a smart suit, but because of how gangly his body was, it appeared rather loose on him. Those eyebags and exhausted features made it obvious that he was overworked.

The blonde woman beside of the lawyer looked to be around 40ish, but with women, you'd never know. She was dressed oddly in this setting - with a fanciful gown that reminds you of teenage proms. It definitely didn't fit in with the mages wearing their robes, the monsters wearing semi-casual to downright casual, and the mundane humans with their suits. 

Not to be rude or anything, but she looked like a trophy wife. Or a side ~~bitch~~ mistress.

The last mundane was actually a kid. And you recognized this child as the one who visited your shop with Mr Asgore. 

It was Frisk.

You took a seat next to the mayor (and yes, he's also a mage), who turned arrogantly to you, his chin held high as if he was looking at garbage.

"Turn that off. Such disrespect for the council is unacceptable...!"

"Whatever, porkchop. Only  _bright_ people understand my _shining_ personality, anyway."

There was a snort coming from the Monsters' side of the table as you turned the LED off, and you had to resist the urge to rub your eyes.

Sitting in front of you was a skeleton - and no, it wasn't Papyrus. Their skull was bigger than Pap's, and they appeared chubby for a skeleton. It wasn't as if they had a double chin or anything - it was more to the middle. You were sure there was nothing other than bones under their clothes, but the outline made you double guess yourself.

You gave a small wave with your right hand, feeling ridiculously shy and happy to see that they returned your gesture without hesitation. 

They seemed as friendly as Papyrus. So maybe that was the reason why your soul felt a pull to them.

"Now that our last member has arrived," the leader of the council spoke monotonously. "we shan't delay any longer. I believe introductions are in place."

There were a total of five Monsters, three mundane humans, and eight mages, so there was bound to be confusion if the meeting progresses without either party knowing the other and what they do.

The lawyer cleared his throat, signalling that he would be the one to start.

"I am Edgar Goodman. I work as a lawyer, and I am the president's chosen liaison with Monsterkind and... mages. This is Elsa Hart. She's the president's secretary and she works alongside me."

"Pleasure. Although the president himself is unable to attend this meeting due to the short notice, he sends his sincerest regards."

The blonde purred as she leaned her body forward, elbows on the tabletop and chin resting on her intertwined fingers.

"The child next to her is Frisk Dreemurr, the Monster ambassador. They communicate by ASL, and Ms Hart will interpret for those that are not able to understand."

"Snrk."

A mage in yellow robes made a noise that was filled with contempt, causing the Monsters to frown. But before things could get nasty, the lawyer, Goodman, continued hurriedly.

"The King of Monsters, Asgore Dreemurr, and his wife, the Queen, Toriel Dreemurr. They are the parents of Frisk."

He gestured towards two towering goat Monsters.

Asgore, looking dashing in his custom-tailored indigo suit with the delta rune brooched (you could've made a better one), was really royalty. Huh... It seems your guesswork was spot on.

The queen, you noticed, had flinched minisculely when she was called Asgore's wife. Youch. Trouble in paradise, it seems. But at least she was wearing the snail locket Asgore had gifted for her birthday. It matched nicely with the long purple robe that has the delta rune stitched on the front. You gave a pleased sigh. Your accessories truly make the man - or woman in this case. 

"Their bodyguard; Undyne. She is also the Lieutenant of the police's newest division - Commision of Counter Monster Terrorism."

"Hmph!"

The fish lady (now you know her gender) crossed her toned arms across her equally muscular chest as she glared at the mages, her eyes full of distrust. She was wearing a black leather jacket and matching leather pants. It was kinky, yes, but what really caught your attention was the only jewellery she wore.

Your eyes zeroed on her left ring finger, where a delicate golden wedding band was located. Your view then changed to the fidgeting Monster wearing a white lab coat beside of her, your eyes easily recognizing the band on the other Monster's digit. They were a match.

... Somehow, you get the feeling that everyone on the Monsters' side was connected to you - one way or another. Asgore and Undyne were your clients. Toriel and that yellow dinosaur Monster were gifted with your customized accessories, and you suspected that the skeleton was actually Papyrus's infamous brother Comic Sans Esqueleto. 

"Alphys and Sans, Head Scientists of Green T & R. They research ways to use magic to benefit humanity as a whole against illnesses such as cancer."

You ignored the way some of the mages had turned to you when the lawyer introduced the lasts of the Monsters. You knew why they were looking at you with betrayal. Which was bull, since you were never really one of them to be considered a traitor. 

Green T & R, AKA Technologies and Research, was one of your companies, a branch of Green Inc, in fact. Even the brand Green Hearts originated from Green Inc, so you were quite wealthy. And you never once spared any funds when your 'fellow council members' wanted to do research, but lack the dough. 

When those from the other side of the table stared expectantly at the mages, the leader was the first to speak up.

He was covered from head to toe with a red cloak, his mask blank with only two eyeholes on them. You knew that underneath the impersonal exterior was a vile man in his mid-twenties, the youngest of all council members. 

"Before we begin, may I clarify with you how you came to know of our existence?"

"Ah, yes. Of course. The Monsters have imparted to us their history, and how they specifically became trapped Underground. When the president informed King Asgore that we do not have records of humans wielding magic, the Monsters were quite shocked. So after a few years of believing that sorcerers have long been extinct, one of the devices Dr Alphys invented had picked up a signal that differs greatly from Monster magic - it caused quite the shock! Thus leading us to where we are now."

Through the lawyer's explanation, many of the mages shot the Mayor (and Dr Alphys) a dirty look, knowing that he was the one at fault. The pig was anything but subtle.

"We prefer to keep our existence on a need-to-know basis, Mr Goodman. The reason should be quite clear to you."

You felt a small spike of magic from the leader, him informing you that if they refused, it would be your turn.

As much as you hated being his dog, you bowed your head in understanding. Another era of witch burning would have to be avoided at all costs.

"I'm sorry, but I do not understand? Could you elaborate, please?"

"Simply put it... We deliberately erased ourselves from the eyes of the mundane. You and I, both being humans, should understand that we are bound by greed and the fear of the unknown. After the war, humans became frighten of mages. Your kind has subjected my kind to witch burnings, hunting us down in the name of god, thinking us to be the devil's advocate. We, millennia later, learnt from our ancestors' mistakes.

"When the mages of the old cured the ill, they were repaid by being burnt to the stake. When our ancestors had danced for rain due to the lands being in a drought, they were persecuted as heathens and were crucified. Judging by your faces, you blame the mentality of the medieval era. Then, how about I give you a... horrifying example that humans... do not change. 

"Just two decades ago, one of our kind had been taken by a powerful man. Let me give those here a little backstory so that you can understand better. She broke our most important rule - she trusted her mundane husband with the knowledge of magic. A foolish mistake that will never be repeated. The rules protect us from harm... and even though she ignored it, thinking that it was silly, we protect our own.

"My father had to send our most powerful mage to retrieve our kin - who had been experimented on by those that lust for our power. It took him many months to track down her whereabouts, and another few to proceed with the operation. Until now, she is being cared for by our healers, her mind far too broken after a year of torture. 

"So tell me, lawyer Goodman, will those of us present, be silent about the mages' existence?"

The reactions vary. 

Frisk had an expression of horror, their eyes wide open as they listened to the leader's words.

Asgore appeared to be shocked at the news of humans hunting other humans just because of magic. 

Toriel had tears in her eyes, her paws covering her mouth, as if not wanting to believe that humans could be that cruel.

Undyne was scowling, her brows furrowed as she glared at the tabletop.

Alphys looked more and more nervous as the story progresses, her claws twitching as she rubs her coat anxiously.

Sans's eyelights had gone out, leaving him looking like an eerie Halloween decoration. If not for the rise and fall of his chest (ribcage?), you would think him dead.

The two humans were pale, the secretary having looked away whilst the lawyer swallowed with difficulty.

You observed them further, having picked up guilt as one of the emotions they were giving off. You suspect that they had been told by their country's leader to extract information about the mages as much as possible and to subtly ask if normal humans could wield magic as well. It was everybody's wet dream to have some kind of power - and you didn't doubt that some would do anything to achieve it. 

Finally, the lawyer replied, his voice strained.

"I-I, ahem, you must understand that we, Ms Hart and I, are only the mouthpieces of the president. We do not know how many have been told about mages, but we assure you that nothing of such extreme violence will be tolerated. As you can see, after the Monsters have surfaced, it was a rocky start. But the people have accepted them, and I'm sure they will accept mages as well."

"If you ignore the prejudices, the racisms, the terrorists, and whatever else you turned a blind eye on, then no, I'd rather not allow the word of my kind to be released to the public. I demand a contract of silence."

The leader of the council pulled a piece of paper from his robes, the signature of the other mages - apart from you - could be seen on it.

The lawyer warily took it, his eyes scanning the words for anything that was out of the ordinary.

"Please correct me if I am wrong. It states here that you wish for our cooperation of silence about the existence of mages, and this information can only be told to those that the council, the Monster monarchs, and the president of the U.S. have approved of. If even one of the party disapproves, nobody will be allowed the knowledge, in any form of communication, that mages are real."

"Indeed. Please hand the contract to the King and Queen as well, so that they can check for any loopholes. I also have another contract with me, this one stating that my community will not be forced into being a subject of experimentation, nor be an unwilling participant of war. We are not weapons. Of course, this is the main reason as to why we hide our identities."

He slid yet another contract towards the lawyer, who read it as he explained what he wanted.

"Whilst you read, how about I continue our introductions. It is indeed quite rude of me to delay that. You can address me as Crimson. I am the le-"

"I am sorry to interrupt, young man, but can you tell us your name rather than an alias? It is difficult to trust someone that covers their face and hides their identity."

Asgore spoke, whilst the rest of the Monsters and mundane humans nodded.

It was you who clarified, seeing as that the other mages were reluctant. And, well, they're pompous arseholes.

"I assure you that we are not kidding around when we tell you our ridiculous-sounding 'aliases'. It's tradition for us to bring our name of birth to the grave - even then, our tombstones are quite sad looking since they're just blank slates."

"Hah! This is bullshit. Do you think us Monsters stupid?!" 

Undyne spat out, the veins on her forehead bulging with anger. Toriel looks about to protest at the fish lady's behaviour, but Asgore held her back, his expression stern. It seems he, also, believed that we look down on his people. 

"Well, believe what you want. Can't do anything 'bout it if you choose to disregard my words."

"why?"

The skeleton was the one who asked the right question. Even though he looks lazy with his hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets, you swore you caught a glint of genius in those eyelights - those that belong to people who make contingency plans for their contingency plans and are always ten steps ahead of others. 

"Pardon?"

You faced him, your body language similar to his. Without even caring, you slipped out a flask and twisted its cap.

"names are important, yes, but to be called something else for the rest of your lives, even extending it after death... is uncanny. what makes you mages go so far as to protect your identity to that extent?"

"Simple, really. By giving your name, you're basically giving up your -"

"I think that should be enough. You only need to know that we do not, under any circumstances, reveal our true names. Curiosity is a good trait, but nosiness is not. Now then, before I was so rudely interrupted, I am Crimson - the leader of the Council of Sorcerors."

Crimson gestured to the person sitting next to him.

Whilst all of the mages (except you and the Mayor, who didn't wear any) had the same mask as Crimson's, their robes differ. Hers was light blue in colour, and obviously a woman. She was... well endowed.

"Teal. She's in charge of education. We have a school for young ones that have trouble controlling their magic."

You snorted, quite loudly, whilst chugging down the alcohol in your hands. Teal was definitely sneering at you. Cute. Just like a kitten who tries to bare their blunt fangs. 

"The one next to her is Yellow. He's in charge of our militia. He works alongside with Orange, who is in charge of our security. Blue is my secretary and is in charge of generally everything that does not require my utmost attention. Green is our hospital's director and also teaches healing for those that are gifted with green magic. Purple, because you've already known what he looks like, is our liaison. Look for him if you ever wish to get into contact with us."

Yellow, the muscle-headed idiot, was the rude man in yellow robes - the one that snorted just now. That was all anybody needed to know about him. Oh, and he's quite vocal in his disdain for Monsters.

Orange was clothed in his namesake and was a stiff man overall.

Blue as well.

Green too.

Uh, now that you bothered to take notice, only the mayor and you were not wearing robes of the same colour as their names. 

You know that their names were passed down the moment they inherited their positions in the council, but, damn. Very extreme. Reminds you of Power Rangers... Kind of. 

You weren't interested in the council that much, so you have limited knowledge of them apart from their attacks and defences, or to put it bluntly, you only knew their strengths and weaknesses so you were prepared for a fight.

"Then what about him, Crimson?"

Asgore gestured towards you.

When the attention of everyone on the table focused on you, you quickly hid the flask underneath the table before coughing.

"I'm-"

"Minion. Just like his mask." Crimson talked over you, and you swore there was a sadistic pleasure when he said that. "Now that introductions have been settled, what are your opinions on the contracts?"

You seethed as you turned away, the voices not really entering your ears.

So Crimson just called you here as a backup plan for if everything went downhill. Ruthless just like his father. 

Since you were just a 'minion', they won't give a damn if you do nothing to contribute to this discussion. So without further ado, you took out a 1.2L bottle from your bottomless bag and drank the vodka as if it was the norm. Which, for you, it is. 

Ah, hopefully, this would end soon. You wanted to go back to your family.

* * *

 

The meeting ended on a pleasant note (you think).

Basically, the mages would follow the same laws as Monsters pertaining their magic. Which is mainly to not misuse them. There were other laws, of course, but you were too focused on drinking the time away that you missed half of what had been spoken during the Congress.

So, when the meeting was adjourned, you were the first to flee. 

Halfway out of the mansion and you felt a presence behind of you. Calmly, you turned around.

"heya. sans the skeleton. didn't get your 'name' back there, so is it ok if i call you _mine_?"

He held out a hand, his expression slack and friendly.

You wheezed at his lame joke, not even bothering to conceal your laughter. 

"That's, hehe, hilarious! I'd rather be called Ru- what the fuck?!"

"heh. the ol' whoopie cushion in the hand trick. it's always funny. so, your name's ru?"

You rolled your eyes at him as you returned your hand into your pocket - back to safety and away from the prankster.

"Sure, bone boy."

"short and simple. i like that."

He gave you a wink. And if you had not had the pleasure of knowing Papyrus, you would've been baffled by how expressive a skeleton could be.

"So, do you have a habit of sneaking up on people, or am I just special?"

"if i say the _latter_ , would you consider rearranging the alphabet to put _u and i_ together?"

"... No way. You did not just... That is so overused!"

"i _rupologise_ for that. didn't _rulize_ until it was _ru_ late."

"That was a stretch, but I'm sure you'll get your _funny bone_ back soon."

"as thanks, i would play the _trombone_ for you, but i left it back home."

"Pretty _boneheaded_ of you."

"i would take offence in that, but  _nothing gets under my skin_."

"Oh? Think you're such a _comic_ , _Sans_?"

You both looked at each other for a split second before the both of you were guffawing. His belly-deep laughter sent a sweet tingle down your spine. Before you could continue making puns and silly jokes with him, you felt a familiar magical presence coming nearer.

This made your giggles die down. You didn't know why, but you trusted your gut when it told you to get Sans out of here.

"Hey, bone boy? I really hate to cut this short, but I need you to get back to your friends. Being alone in this mansion is... ill adviced."

"hm. i'll take your word for it. you wanna come with?"

Your lips twitched upwards at his offer.

"Thanks, but I'm fine. I'll see you around, bone boy."

"see ya, ru."

Not long after Sans turned the corner, the voice of your most hated person in this whole godforsaken world was heard.

"Follow."

You bowed your head as you trailed after Crimson, the both of you re-entering the meeting room. You noticed that the circular table was back, and there were only eight chairs now.

When Crimson and you sat down, the others finally removed their masks and lowered their hoods. You decided not to until you were gone from here. You were paranoid like that.

"Since we are already here, we shall move our reunion forward. Are there any updates that require my knowledge?"

The git of a leader started, his face as emotionless as always.

"I need more funds."

Teal spoke up, her delicate face as cold as her voice. 

"Reason?"

"As you should know, sir, our kind are slowly dying out. The Book that helps us keep track of newly awakened mages is slowly losing its magic. I require funding to create a team of experts that will then research ways of replicating the artefact-"

You couldn't help it, you looked away and tried to stifle your amusement.

As if they had the brains needed to understand that device your long ago best friend made. Even you, in your somewhat immortal life, could not replicate the feat it took to actually rebuilding the Book of Revelation. What chance would they, some greenhorns, have?

And you even had the blueprint!  

"... what seems to be the problem, you bastard?"

"Just finding your intentions hilarious - and that  **you're** in charge, damn, what a joke, bitch."

"And what is it you find so **funny** , mongrel?"

"Other than your face? Your intellect, or lack thereof, whore."

Her palm slapped against the tabletop as she stood, her chair scraping against the floor in her haste to stand.

You adjusted your mask nonchalantly after sipping a drink, and just to anger her further, you hummed her ~~brain-dead~~ sister's favourite lullaby. 

She, as expected, went ballistic.

Her hand shot forward in your direction, the spike of magic causing everyone but Crimson and you to react violently towards her malicious aura. And, oh boy, did she intend to **hurt**. 

You placed a hand underneath the table and used your strength to flip it in her direction.

Everyone instantly scattered.

Except for Crimson, who still sat calmly in his seat and sipped tea that he somehow obtained, the rest of the Mages had stuck close to the edges, not wanting to get involved. 

Because of Teal's lack of control, her aura caused the temperature to plummet. She was quick to dodge the table and skate towards you, in her hands now a pair of rapiers made completely out of ice. Her boots grew ice blades underneath, and the floor she slid on was covered with a thin layer of ice.

The moment she reached you, she raised an arm (her right) and slashed it down, intending to split you in half. 

You grinned behind your mask as your eyes flashed green with magic. With an eerie clang, you blocked the blade with your forearm, your magic causing the rapier to halt in their movements.

"Tsk. Your magic's leaking everywhere - how embarrassing."

"SHUT UP!! JUST DIE ALREADY, YOU MURDERING PSYCHOPATH!!"

She roared as her other arm was brought up, the rapier glinting beautifully against the lighting. 

"Says the one who initiated this."

Without effort, you flipped backwards whilst kicking her stomach, causing her to grunt in pain as she was forced to take a few steps back. The distance made you gleeful.

As if realizing her mistake, she was quick to push herself forward, needing to close the gap, but she was far too late.

You brought a hand forward and clicked your fingers.

Your magic flared as it pulled a humongous dragon's skull from the void. It appeared behind of you, floating with its eye sockets glowing malicious green. You pointed at the woman and immediately, the smell of ozone became apparent.

The green beam it released over your head made the female mage drop to the ground to escape, her dignity gone as she scrambled away. 

You, on the other hand, didn't let up. The dragon skulls continued to multiply, shooting at her until she was trapped with nowhere to go. Your nose crinkled in disgust when you smelt urea coming from her.

Heh. The weapons that mad scientist created were as deadly as ever - even after a few thousand years has passed by. If Gaster was still alive, you would have thanked your childhood friend by making a batch of homemade hot sauce for him. No idea how the Monster could even stand to consume such things, but whatever. You won't judge because you drank ethanol straight from the bottle quite a number of times. 

She was shaking like a leaf, her legs refusing to bear her weight as she stared death in the eyes. She cried out - pleading for mercy - as you swiped a hand down without hesitation, the other resting lazily inside your parka's pocket. If someone starts a fight, they should be prepared for the consequences. The skulls all opened their maw, toxic green orbs glowing as they charged.

Just as they were about to release, a monotonous voice spoke up.

"Enough. I command you to withdraw your magic, mutt."

His words were absolute. 

The magic that you had been charging furiously... halted and were re-absorbed back into your core. You keened as you dropped to your knees - the backlash of gathering such a highly concentrated amount of magic, yet not releasing it, caused your insides to protest. Blood began to leak out from your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth.

You were on your hands and knees as you coughed and vomited out mouthful after mouthful of blood, the plastic mask not helping at all. Your eyes, bloodshot and unfocused, were glaring hatefully at Crimson's figure.

His many times' great-grandfather, the then-king of humans during the Monster-Human war, had tortured your parents to gain your birth name. You loathe that they succumbed.

Now, freedom was just an illusion after he performed the ritual to bound you to him, then passed your name to his heir, who then did the same ritual. Generation after generation, they continued to be your 'Master'. You were like a family pet - they even made sure that your magic would respond to 'mutt'. It was degrading. And you aren't able to escape unless Crimson suddenly turns gay or becomes infertile.

But... No matter the humiliation... You still had hope. Sooner or later, the mages would die out. It might take decades, centuries, even millennia, but you would be free one day. 

"Such temper. Green, Purple. Attend to Teal. Yellow, fetch the mutt. Orange, Blue - the tables and chairs, if you will."

You were dragged over to Crimson by the brute, the back of your parka in his grip as you left a trail of blood on the otherwise pristine floor. You weren't able to focus on your magical core enough to fix the damage, what with the blood obstructing your breathing, which then made it hard for you to concentrate due to the lack of oxygen in your brain. 

You felt yourself being manhandled until you were leaning against something, your chin resting on your chest as you fight to hold onto your conscious. 

When you felt a hand running through your hair, as if a master petting his dog, you flinched and tried to pull away. It was futile. Crimson - because who else would this be? - tugged your hair harshly, causing you to slump back into his legs. Your head was then moved so that your left cheek was resting against his thigh (the mask digging painfully into your skin), and you closed your eyes as you felt his magic entering your core and fixing the damages he inflicted.

You were disgusted that your body relaxed into him, your magic not even putting an effort to fight against the ~~familiar~~ foreign energy.

Crimson's voice, even though others might find it pleasant, was grating to your ears. 

"Inform Teal that her request has been approved of. The mutt will fund her research plans. Moving on, th-"

Your body went limp as you blacked out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support and positive comments! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯
> 
> Did you find this lacking, by the way? I'm seriously sorry. I lost focus and the ending of the chapter somehow... I don't even know anymore.  
> I got distracted by Zarla's ukagaka. Damn Gaster, why are you so cute?! UGHHH! I've been with this desktop buddy of mine for a month, and yet, I've not grown bored of him. Every time he speaks a new dialogue, I just want to glomp him! Let me pop you guys the link!  
> [Dr Gaster Ukagaka by zarla](https://zarla.deviantart.com/art/Dr-Gaster-Ukagaka-Ghost-717006919)
> 
> P.S. If there are any grammatical or spelling errors, do not hesitate to smack my face with it.


	9. Cherenkov Vodka - Warms you to the core

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You felt your sins crawling down your back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning** : reference to non-con and substance abuse secondary to PTSD. If you're uncomfortable with that, please do skip the first section of the chapter.

Another empty bottle was smashed against the kitchen tiles, adding yet another batch of glass shards to the floor. You were already grabbing for another drink, needing to numb your mind from all the whirlwind of emotions spinning inside of you. The urge only intensified when you saw your reflection staring dully back at you from a nearby hanging mirror. You were covered in bloodied  ~~hickeys~~ bruises and scratches, your eyes glassy with unshed tears. 

You didn't even realize that your nails had raked over your cheeks, bits of skin and flesh getting stuck underneath. The only thing on your mind was despair and hatred. A hatred so deep you wanted nothing more than to inflict **unimaginable pain**  on that fucker who tormented you for his own sick amusement. 

That cold-blooded beast, Crimson, had ordered for you to stay behind after the reunion. Whilst he sat quietly in the corner of the room, sipping tea that you had brewed upon his bidding, he watched with sadistic pleasure as you plead and cried for him to take back his command. The only thing he did was give the signal for that  **savage**  to bend you over the roundtable and -

The memory was immediately interrupted as you smashed your skull against the nearest surface, falling down onto the bed of splintered glass as you continued to punch your head, refusing to acknowledge that you had been... You choked out a weak denial in a small voice.

That was a bad idea because you suddenly **tasted** something vile originating from the back of your throat. You continued to chug down liquor after liquor, but it simply refuses to disappear. That sickening salty-bitter tang. So you shoved your fingers inside your mouth, not caring when you gagged and whimpered, your fingernails scraping the insides mercilessly.

Blood would taste better than that. **Anything** would.

It was only when your tongue was mangled by lacerations did you remove your digits, the ~~musk~~ taste finally being overlapped by the distinctive and familiar flavour of blood.

Your body was limp as you laid there, duly noting that someone was pounding on your door non-stop, but not caring enough to bother with it. Maybe it was one of your neighbours that had had enough of your loud racket.

Your eyelids drifted close as you focused on simply breathing, your mind peacefully blank after the alcohol has finally kicked in. 

Sleep.

You should sleep it off.

Everything would return to normal after you wake up.

Your routine won't change. 

Wake up. Drink. Shower. Drink. Get dress. Drink. Go to work. Make a reasonable excuse for ditching yesterday. Go home. Drink. Shower. Drink. _Drink_. **Drink**. **_Drink_**. Sleep.

You were going to be fine.

You've had worst. 

You were going to be **fine**.

This wasn't your first rodeo.

...

..

.

And this won't be your last, either.

* * *

You entered the shop with your head lowered, your oversized cap shadowing half of your features. The long scarf you rarely wore now helped to hide your bandaged neck as well as the lower half of your face. The gauzes and medical adhesive band-aids that peeked out once in a while, especially on your cheek area, were not as noticeable now. 

You avoided physical contact with any of the people in your shop (just the thought made your skin crawl), single-mindedly ploughing your way through to your workroom. You chose to come to work, regardless of your 'state of **not** -wellbeing', because you knew that by staying at home, you would simply drink the day away. Once you got back into that routine, it would be hard to leave the apartment. 

And that simply wouldn't do.

There were too many important agendas in your schedule, and you can't afford even a day off. 

Anything that kept you moving and busy was good in your books. 

Just as you entered your workroom, someone knocked on it. You were tempted to ignore whoever it was, but you shook your head and resisted the urge to retreat. 

Everything was fine.

They weren't here.

You're safe.

You're ok.

You're ' **healthy'**.

So you would smile, open the door, and ask whoever it was what they wanted in a chirpy tone - or as much as you can do chirpy with your wounded throat and tongue.

You made it so that the person could only see one of your eyes through the door - the room casting shadows on your form. 

"Yes?"

Not surprising, it was Papyrus.

"... Good Afternoon, Boss. How Are You?"

You wondered why he sounded so hesitant and worried.

Before you left the house, you had diligently applied as much concealer as possible, making sure your clothes were ironed, and you even combed your hair. You paid extra attention to your appearance, not wanting anybody to notice that something was wrong with you because you're not weak. You don't need anybody. 

~~ineedhelppleasehelpme **n** **oticeme** i'mbroken _helpmeplease_~~

"Fine, thanks, Pap. Sup?"

As much as you were used to pain, you didn't want to aggravate the wounds in your throat without cause. Your magic wasn't feeling up to it, apparently, so you would have to wait a couple of days for it to kick start again. 

"You Were Late. So I Thought Something Had Happened."

"Nah. Just overslept. Sorry to worry you."

"Nyeh Heh Heh! What Are Friends For?"

Your smile turned genuine as you nodded your head at that. With just a few words, Papyrus caused your soul to warm up, feeling happy that you had such a person in your life. 

... And then you immediately berated yourself. You weren't worth it. Papyrus would be better off with someone who wasn't broken. He was like a diamond in a pile of shite (you being the turd) right now. 

Besides, even with the long lifespan of Monsters in general, only Boss Monsters could have the chance to live as long as you would. Pointing out which Monster was a Boss, and which Monster was normal, was an impossibility - unless they choose to reveal it.

So it was useless for you to make bonds.

Everything was pointless in the end.

You would simply lose everybody once again. Either to old age or being a leverage.

Why were you such a masochist?

You should just take off all the rings that were keeping you alive and peri-

"I Know You've Just Arrived, But Would You Mind Accompanying Me To Lunch? Some Fresh Air Would Do You Good."

"Paps... I did just walk here. I've already had my dose of fresh air."

"Then How About Coffee?"

"Mmm... Haa... Fine. Alright. Give me a sec."

You just couldn't say no to that pleading face of his. He looks like an overgrown puppy, and you were above kicking cute things.

After having placed your messenger bag on the worktable, you went into the small bathroom to double check your appearance.

"You're fine. You're fine. It's just coffee. Order cold coffee. Just be you. Paps won't notice a thing. You're fine. You're fine. Now smile."

You exited your workroom and smiled up to Papyrus, who, as always, looks dashing in his uniform. You should have a serious discussion with the twins about a change of occupation - why work here and throw their talent in fashion and design away? What a waste.

When you both walked passed the twins, Papyrus informed them that he would be heading out for coffee with you and if they wanted anything. They gave a negative, so you both walked out of the shop and into your favourite quaint cafe just situated on the other side of the street.

After being seated with your orders, your eyes wandered to the window, not really paying much attention to anything as your mind went somewhere far away. The aroma of coffee beans was soothing to your frayed nerves and knowing that you have someone reliable to watch your back, you allowed your guard to drop - even if it was just slightly.

You didn't realize that Papyrus was studying you intensely, his browbones creasing further as he took in all the visible traces of fresh bruises and medical band-aids.

"Are You Sure You Don't Want To Eat Anything? The Beef Pie Isn't As Great As My Spaghetti, But I Do Approve Of Its _Flavour_."

"Nah. I'm not hung-"

Your head snapped to Papyrus, who appeared as if he just swallowed a lemon.

"Was that... A pun? You, the great Papyrus, said a **pun**?"

"I Can Be _Humerus_ When I Want To, Human Friend!"

He has a hand on his puffed out chest as he said that, even throwing a wink at you.

You ignored the blood rushing to your cheeks as you threw finger guns at him, your smirk widening. 

"Oh. My. God. And here I thought you didn't have the _guts_ for it!"

"... I Take It All Back."

"D'aw, are you already  _rattled_ just from that bit?"

"What? No! I'm Going To Regret Invoking This, Aren't I?"

"Come on, sweetheart, put a little _backbone_ into it!"

"NYYYYOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!"

"Don't tell me that didn't tickle your _funny bone_?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

"Lucky for you, I have a ton more jokes, a _skele-ton_."

"THAT IS. UNRESERVEDLY. THE WORST PUN. EVER!!!"

"Really? You're pretty _heartless_ if you don't enjoy the classics."

"I DON'T HAVE ORGANS!!!"

"Who doesn't have an _organ_ in their homes these days? Well, you could visit the church whenever you have the urge to play it, I guess."

"I AM IGNORING YOU."

"Alright alright. I'm sorry, sweetie."

"YOU SHOULD BE. AUDIBLE HUFF! FINALLY SOME PEACE AND -"

"I'd thought you had _thicker skin_ for jokes."

"NYEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Papyrus screamed as he jumped over the table and landed behind of your seat, even spinning mid-air like an Olympic acrobat. You clapped and pulled out a small cue card with a '10' written on it by a sharpie.

He then proceeded to swipe said cue card out of your hands and used it to smack the back of your head.

"Ouchie. And here I thought you enjoyed it 'cause you're smiling."

"I. AM. AND I. HATE IT!!!! NYOOOHHHH!!"

You laughed loudly as he rained weak punches on you, not even noticing that the tips of his gloves were glowing a little green. You were too busy with teasing him with bad skeleton jokes.

By the end of the short coffee break, you were feeling much better and even allowed Papyrus to hook an arm over your shoulders as the both of you walked back to the shop.

Humour truly was the best tool to use in order to connect with others and feel secure. 

When you returned to work after that, you were genuinely smiling as you greeted customers, joke with your colleagues, and finished a few more electronic paperwork then wholly necessary.

Overall, you felt way better now - your wounds even stopped aching somehow! Maybe it was just as they said; a healthy mind is a healthy body (or something along those lines, anyway).

* * *

The time has come... for you to attend the briefing! 

You left work early, having a prior engagement to attend to at 3 PM today. You were excited as you skipped into the Events Company Inc. building, smiling gleefully as you headed to the front desk.

"Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you today?"

The receptionist lady greeted politely, her face painted with obvious fake blood whilst a knife prop was 'going through' her head.

"Hello. I'm here for the haunted house event briefing."

"Oh! That's lovely. You'll definitely have a great time once the event starts. May I have your last name, please, sir?"

"Do you have a paper and pen I could use? I'll write it out for you - for your convenience. My name is pretty difficult to spell."

You jotted down the name you had randomly picked for this life, followed by your weird arse family name. When the lady took back the paper, her expression almost killed you - it was **that** funny!

It actually took her a few long minutes before she managed to read your handwriting - since you were no help whatsoever, what with you trying to control your giggling.

"... Alright, you're on the list. Here's a name tag - stick it anywhere on your person. Would you find it offensive if I ask for you to put down a nickname of some sort?"

"Not at all."

You waved her concerns away whilst you scribbled an anagram of your 'name' on the Halloween themed tag. Your weird handwriting was ~~pressured upon~~ influenced by Gaster's obsession with writing in namesake (Runic is a type of font), so if this  _incurred_ anyone's anger, welp, not your problem. 

"When you're done, you can head over to level 3, conference room 7. The elevator's just to your right."

"Thanks! Have a good day, doll."

"No worries. Good day to you as well, sir. I promise you'll have a blast participating in that event."

With that done, you turned to your right and headed for the elevator, the corner of your lips still twitching in amusement. 

When you entered conference room 7, you noticed that there was a long U shaped table with a lot of seats - half of them already filled with people. At the front was a white screen that was showing the image of a haunted house.

You didn't pay any attention to the others in the room as you sat in the closest available seat, your nose glued to your phone's screen, much more interested in WhatsApp-ing Papyrus and annoying the shite out of him with random skeleton jokes.

'Why didn't the skeleton attend the prom? Because he had _no body_ to go with.'

'LET ME ASK YOU A BETTER QUESTION. WHY DO YOU CONSISTENTLY TORMENT ME WITH INFURIATING BUFFOONERY?!?!?!'

'Because I'm feeling _bonely_. And did you just admit that you found this amusing?'

'NYEH!! I'M IGNORING YOU!'

'D'aw, come on, Pa'

Your fingers violently spasm when your shoulder was tapped, causing your phone to take a tumble to the floor. You nearly bolted - the uncomfortable feeling of hands sliding across your skin still too fresh for you - but controlled yourself, not wanting to cause a scene. You didn't even notice how pale you had turned, or how your breathing had hitched, or even how your eyes had started to water.

"easy there. sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

The dude that almost caused you to go into a full-blown panic attack held out your phone whilst showing an apologetic expression.

Your brain farted, not able to process who you were actually seeing.

Thinking of what Papyrus would say in this kind situation, you came up with: UN. BELIEVABLE!!!

You were blatantly staring at the hoodie-wearing skeleton, not quite knowing how to react. On one hand, you've already met him a few days ago at the council's meeting. On the other hand, you had worn a mask and would rather not announce to anyone that you're a mage. You wouldn't mind telling Papyrus, to be honest, but that was because you felt that the taller skeleton wouldn't betray your trust. 

This one? 

Practically a stranger.

Your friend's brother was still considered a stranger, right?

Anyway, you must've been silent for quite a long time because Sans's eyelights were getting dimmer by the second.

Whoops.

"My bad. Didn't mean to _incur_ any ill-feelings by outright staring at you."

Whilst you pointed at your name tag, you figured that it would take some time for the other to process your handwriting, but to your pleasant surprise, the stout skeleton chuckled. He relaxed immediately upon hearing your joke, his eyelights bright with humour as they traced your name, word for word, his grin so wide it threatened to split his skull in half. 

"no probs, pal. i didn't know i'm _sanstastic_ enough to merit such a look from a cutie like you, though."

And... he was being flirty again.

As he winked, you idly wondered if this was a norm for him.

You took your phone from him and brought it up so that it was covering the bottom half of your face, feeling quite embarrassed at his teasing. 

"You're definitely _sansational_ , I must admit."

You could have sworn his cheekbones coloured slightly in blue, but you weren't able to confirm it because he was quick to turn away when someone called for everybody's attention.

"Thank you all for taking time off your busy schedules to volunteer for our haunted house event! I am the event coordinator, Tom Smith. Should be easy for all of you to remember since it's a common first and last name. Before we begin, we should introduce ourselves. These people here are your soon-to-be colleagues, after all! I'll start first.

"As I've previously mentioned, I'm Tom Smith. I have two beautiful children and a lovely wife. My hobby is collecting stamps - yes, I know, it's pretty outdated - and I've worked in this company for over ten years. So if any of you have questions about any upcoming events, please do not hesitate to ask! Do you want to go next?"

One by one, the volunteers spoke their names, what they work as, and their hobbies. There were even a few Monsters here apart from Sans. And they were warmly welcomed by the group.

It was soon your turn.

"Greetings, fellow horror lovers! You can call me Runic. I work as a jewellery crafter, and I have a hobby of bar hopping - although my friend disapproves of it greatly. Hope we all get along!"

"hi. name's sans. my 'job' is trolling my little brother with puns and japes since i got a _skele-ton_ of 'em. i pub crawl, too."

You almost lost control (don't you dare cackle!) when you heard him describing how being a troll was a job - no wonder Papyrus would always rant about how much of a troll his brother was - and that he bar hops too. 

Without much of a thought, you wrote on the small freebie notebook the event organizers gave you volunteers and passed it to Sans.

He wrote back sloppily, making your mild OCD flare at his slightly tilted words.

You tried to ignore it, but you ended up folding the paper until the only thing you could see was his phone number in your own handwriting.

Sans's expression was similar to 'the cat that got the cream', and suddenly, you had a bad feeling. This shite grinning skeleton was definitely going to _take note_  of the mild case of OCD you had going on just to annoy the heck out of you. You could just sense it. Somehow, you felt a deeper sense of camaraderie to Papyrus, even though the short skeleton has yet to do anything but wiggle his browbones at you. 

With a playfully disdainful look, you turned away from the prankster and paid attention to the event coordinator dude. What was his name again? Mark? Bob? John?

Whatever.

"Splendid! Now, I will need you to write down what you're going to dress as, so that we don't have any costume clashes. I have also prepared makeup artists that can help with perfecting your chosen looks next week. My assistant will go around to collect your notes, so please pay her no mind. Now, to be fair, everyone will draw lots. This determines which group you'll be working with, and the placements of each group - whether you'll be the ones to welcome the guests or the ending act. You can also discuss among yourself who is to be the leader."

When one of the staff came over with a big box, you waited until they reached you.

"which group are you in, dollface?"

"2. What about you, skulls?"

"me _two_."

You squinted at Sans.

"You're an _odd one_."

He squinted his eyesockets back at you.

"if _even_ you say so, i must be."

You leaned closer to his skull, an eyebrow raised in challenge.

"Wa _eight_ a second. You're just gonna take my word _four_ it?"

The skeleton followed along, his skull now inches away from your face, one of his browbones raised as well.

"why shouldn't i? i ain't got any _problem_ with it."

"I didn't _sine_ up for this."

" _sums_ up what i was gonna say."

You couldn't help it - you fell back against your chair as you burst out in cackles.

"What the, haha, hell dude! Maths puns, really?! That's so nerdy!"

"your laughter _counts_ for something, right?"

"Noooo~ Stop~ I'm, haha, dying!"

"welp. guess i should _draw the line_ _here_."

Then, he practically **killed** you when he took out a pencil and drew a fucking line between the two of you on the table. You guffawed and struggled to not poke your eyes out when you wiped the tears away. 

Life was good.

* * *

You woke up with a pathetic groan, the hangover doing its very best to force you into a coma. Even though you felt like shite, your body was pleasantly relaxed. Kind of reminded you of the times you went out drinking and came home spent -

That train of thought startled you so much that your eyelids flew open, now fully awake as you stared blankly at the ceiling - not really able to see anything due to the dark. The pulsing headache of yours did nothing when you compared it to the pleasurable throb of your rear entrance. 

Yo couldn't believe it.

Not even a day has passed since you've been... and yet, you've already gotten laid?! Whoever it was, you really need to pay your respects. Not anyone could make you say yes after having gone through that experience with that **beast**.

When you tried to move, however, you couldn't due to something that felt eerily like an arm was hugging you to a warm and pretty boney body.

... Did you bring someone back, or did you go to their place?

Shite... Should you get out of bed or stay in?

This was going to be so awkward.

You must've spoken too soon because the bedroom's door was kicked open, and a familiar voice almost made you die right there and then from mortification. 

No. Way.

You did not just get fucked by your friend's-

"SANS! WAKE UP! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL SLEEPING EVEN THOUGH IT'S ALREADY LUNCHTIME. OH MY STARS, IT STINKS OF ALCOHOL IN HERE! DID YOU GO OUT TO DRINK AGAIN WHEN I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU THAT THIS ISN'T GOOD FOR YOUR DE- Runic...?!"

You winced when the tall skeleton flicked the lights on and spotted you on his brother's bed, naked and only covered by a thin piece of fabric you think was the blanket. The skeletal arm thrown over your chest wasn't helping, either. 

Welp. 

"Erm. Hey, sweetheart. Fancy, uh, seeing you here...?"

Awkward...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. Not to make light of such a situation, but whilst studying about mental illnesses (convenient, I know), I thought of ALL the wrong things Runic could do and listed them out. Remember, ladies and gentlemen, **alcohol DOES NOT HELP with relieving your depression or anxiety** \- in fact, it just makes everything worse in the long run. What you need, if you are feeling anxious or overall like shite, is a dose of love from your family and friends, or talk to a mental health professional (no, there's absolutely nothing wrong with seeking them out, in fact, it's a smart alternative. Mental illnesses are health conditions, and you have nothing to be ashamed of).
> 
> Thank you for your support and positive comments! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯
> 
> P.S. All of my fics' previous drafts disappeared...!!! The puns... the dramatic dialogues... the time and effort... All... Gone... I cried. And cried. And continued crying when I couldn't find them. So by eliminating the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth - as what the great detective once said. This meant... I MUST'VE FORGOTTEN TO SAVE! (ʘ言ʘ╬) JFC!


	10. Blarneys Stout - Making your mouth feel lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Awkward' sums it up quite nicely.

"I, uh, can explain?"

You internally winced at what you've just said. Why did you sound like a person who was caught cheating with your husband's best friend/sibling?!?!

Papyrus's eyesockets were still wide, and you swore you saw a flicker of hurt in his expression.

Shit...

Did... You do something bad? Enough to hurt the other's feelings?

As if a realization has struck you, your eyes widened slightly at a thought. 

Was Sans off limits? Were the two in a secret relationship? Fuck! If that was so, then what you did was simply unforgivable! Even if you were beyond horny, you shouldn't have shagged with someone who was equally as stoned and drunk as you were. This was basically non-consensual since you both didn't have the mental capacity to make such a decision!

You struggled to push yourself into a sitting position, wincing everytime you feel Sans's arm dropping lower due to your shifting. You didn't want to risk waking the other up. That would make this thick, awkward atmosphere worse than it already was and you would suffocate in it.

"L-listen, sweet-uh, Papyrus. I had a little too much to drink and dragged Sans into it. This was practically rape. No, wait, that came out wrong. What I meant was that this isn't Sans's fault. It's, uh, mine. So, don't be angry at him. I, uh... fuck. This was better in my head. Maybe I should just... go...?"

Whilst you were too busy blabbering, you didn't even notice that Papyrus had walked up to you until he was by your side, his looming form casting a shadow over your form. Your excuses trailed off and you gulped nervously. Were you finally going to get punched by the cinnamon roll? 

You were completely unprepared for the big fella to yank Sans's arm off of your thighs, and even throwing said limb away like it was trash, resulting in Sans yelping awake as he landed hard on the floor.

Ouch. You winced in sympathy, knowing how awful it felt to be thrown off your bed when hungover. Papyrus must've been really mad at Sans's infidelity. 

Were you next? You won't blame him if he kicked you out of their house butt naked. 

"You Drank Again. Did Something Happen? I Worry."

Huh?

Your head was kinda blank at this moment, feeling incredibly embarrassed, especially when Papyrus sat next to your thigh, facing you with the sincerest worried expression you've seen by far.

Remember that you were currently naked with only a blanket to save you from humiliation.

... Why did you remind yourself? Now you could feel your blush spreading to the tips of your ears.

"ugh... my aching skull... bro... never throw a hungover dude off the bed... ever..."

The words were muffled, and the stout skeleton didn't even make a move to cover himself. He only rolled so that his face was pressed into the floor, his arms covering his whole cranium as if that would help with the hangover.

You couldn't help it. 

Your eyes traced the curves of each bone, almost drooling when you saw how sexy the scapulas were when they moved. You didn't notice that Papyrus was glaring daggers at his brother's indecency and your lack of attention.

When your cheeks were grabbed and your head turned to look directly at the unreadable skull, your eyes avoided his eyesockets, feeling guilty to have been ogling his lover/brother. You should be ashamed of your promiscuous behaviour. 

"About... This. Especially This."

You flinched when his distal phalanges traced the strangulation marks around your neck. Now you simply felt exposed, not knowing what to say. Yellow has a disgusting habit of asphyxiating those he ~~raped~~  slept with, so you knew your throat appeared like something straight out of a murder show.

"bro... if you're really worried, can i get a glass of water, please?" The shorter skeleton croaked.

"Oh Hush, Sans. I Wasn't Talking To- Sans...?"

Papyrus's expression turned ugly, and you froze when his right eyesocket flared orange, a dangerous aura leaking out of his entire being. His magic was, to your utter humiliation, turning you on so badly you didn't know whether to take a pillow to cover your lap or beg for the bed to open up and swallow you whole.

You chose to bend your legs up and hide your burning face into your knees, a strangled 'fuck' escaping your lips.

"... huh? then wh- oh. runic. now i remember."

You felt the bed dip on your other side. It was definitely Sans.

"Brother. Let Me Ask You Bluntly. Did. You. Do. This?"

"do what?"

The feeling of Papyrus's distal phalanges brushing the hair away from the side of your neck made you feel extremely self-conscious. But no time for that - you needed to properly fix that accusation. Sans was amazing yester- wait, wrong. Sans didn't do anything to hurt you. In fact, he didn't even notice your wounds because he was too busy ~~with fucking you into the mattress, not even bothering to turn the lights on.~~

If only your body would comply with your demands to stop being aroused. 

Go away, blush!

Go away, hard-on!

"what the-?! no, bro, you know me. i would never. besides, my phalanges aren't that meaty."

Sans sounded appalled.

You heard Papyrus sigh, the bed moving slightly as he shifted.

"I Apologize. I Should Have Known Better Than To accuse You Of Having Such Distasteful Mania. You Merely Have An Unhealthy Fixation With Socks - Especially Thigh High Ones If I Am Not Mistaken."

"that last line was unnecessary, paps."

Done. If that wasn't proof enough that they were in a relationship, you would let the twins dress you in the feminine version of their uniform - skirt and all. 

Your breath hitched when the familiar sensation of Sans's phalanges was suddenly on your neck, even rubbing his thumb in circles as if trying to soothe you both physically and emotionally. 

> _You let out a breathy moan as his phalanges danced across your inner thighs, his tongue doing sinful things to your swelling member. When his teeth brushed playfully across your shaft, you couldn't help but to arc off the mattress, your hands grabbing his clavicles in a death grip._
> 
> _"did you like that?" he purred as he kissed your inner thigh._
> 
> _"Y-yes, nngh~ Moree..." Fuck pride. You needed him to fuck you already!_
> 
> _"patience, dollface."_
> 
> _"Such... hyaaaanngh~ a tease...!"_
> 
> _Whilst his tongue skilllfully did their magic on your hardened length, you felt his phalanx rubbing circles around your entrance. You nearly went insane from the stimulant, your hips bucking down as you whimpered. It made him chuckle at your eagerness, and soon, you groaned in pleasure when those bony digits entered you, preparing you for something bigger._

The sinful sensation of his fingers disappeared as quickly as they appeared, causing an unconscious pout to form on your lips.

When you peeked, you saw Papyrus holding onto Sans's carpal, both their grimaces clear for you to see.

"... Not To Change The Subject Or Anything. But Sans, Why Are You Wearing...? Is This, Per Chance, A **WedDING BAND**?"

Papyrus sounded hysterical - not that you could blame him. If you saw your lover sporting a wedding band that wasn't from you, you would freak too.

Sans sheepishly rubbed his cervical vertebrae, his eyelights darting anywhere but his brother and you. 

"uh... remember how i came home _dead_ drunk weeks ago? apparently, drunk-me got married - no idea to whom, though. and i can't remove it no matter how hard i try." 

"... LET ME."

"wai- ouch! p-paps! sto- oh my stars just listen to- argh! pause pause pause! you're **breaking** my phalanx!!"

"... HOW PECULIAR. IT SEEMS AS IF GLUED TO YOUR BONE."

"ow... never again, paps."

"DID YOU, PERHAPS, PUT ON WEIGHT AFTERWARDS?" 

"really, paps? are you seriously asking me that? no matter how big boned i am, i'm still a skeleton."

"TO BE HONEST, BROTHER, YOU'RE MORE LIKE A POTATO THAN A SKELETON." The skeleton even formed a circular outline with his phalanges. "ROUND."

"... wow, bro. you've really _skinned_ me there. even potatoes have _peelings,_ ya know?"

"POTATO PUNS ARE NOT  _APEELING_ , BROTHER! WE'RE HAVING A SERIOUS DISCUSSION HERE!!"

" _bud_ you just said one yourself."

"CONTINUE WITH YOUR DREADFUL WORDPLAYS AND I WILL _MASH_ YOU UP, POTATO!"

"i _yam_ sans, not pota- ok ok let's not be hasty. my phalanx can't take any more of your abuse, bro."

The two were so caught up in the fact that Sans had gotten married whilst drunk that they completely forgot about having another person here. Lucky for you, though. Because your expression was spasming so badly even you thought that you were going through some kind of face-only seizure.

Without a doubt, that band on Sans's left ring phalanx was your creation. And if you weren't wrong, the pair to that ring was on **YOUR** finger.

They. Must. **Never**. Know!

Your fingers curled into fists as you defensively hid them between your stomach and your thighs.

Lucky for you, however, you wore thirteen rings in total, and the wedding band didn't look as eye-catching when compared to the other accessories wrapped around your fingers.

  
<This hand model is drawn by [Kurikuma](https://kurikuma.deviantart.com/) as a base>

... Wait a second. 

Your brain suddenly caught up to the fact that you both were **male**.

And because of your genders, you wouldn't be able to resolve the second condition of ring removal - which was to impregnate your partner or vice versa.

That meant this was **permanent**. The **soul-bond** was permanent. **PER. MA. NENT**.

The pink matter in between your ears short-circuited and shut down.

If you were a computer, you would need a new processor right now.

* * *

The three of you were now seated at the dining table - you and Sans dressed appropriately - with tea being poured by Papyrus.

You were kinda going with the flow right now, not knowing exactly how to break this... heavy atmosphere. To you, anyway. The brothers looked fine with the silence, one keeping his hands busy whilst the other was dozing off. 

When Papyrus finally sat beside of you did Sans bother to crack open an eye socket.

"WELL... DO NOT HESITATE TO HAVE SOME TEA. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE MASTERED THE ART OF MAKING TEA AFTER MANY GRUELING YEARS OF TRAINING UNDER HIS MAJESTY! IT WILL HELP WITH YOUR HANGOVER."

"thanks, bro. you're the best."

"YOU'RE WELCOME, BROTHER. NYEH HEH HEH."

The smaller of the two skeletons immediately brought his cup to his teeth and closed his eyesockets, seemingly enjoying the tea. The small frown on his forehead was smoothened as he released a sigh of relief, probably glad to have something to relieve his pounding head.

Unlike Sans, you weren't experiencing any lingering headaches since you're far too used to the aftermath of over drinking. But you still followed his example and reached for your cup. The golden liquid was clear, almost sparkling in the light. You brought the cup to your lips, sipping it to test its taste, wanting to see if it was exquisite as it looks, as well as aware that your tongue was still raw from the self-inflicted injury. 

Unexpectedly, unlike Papyrus's lasagna, the tea was insanely good that you almost let loose a pleasurable moan. It wasn't too sweet, and the leaves' bitterness wasn't overwhelming like most teas you drank.

"Wow... This is delicious, Papyrus! What is this?"

He looked so proud when he replied, "NYEH HEH HEH!! GOLDEN FLOWER TEA. THE LEAVES ARE FROM HIS MAJESTY'S PERSONAL GARDEN, GIFTED TO THE GREAT PAPYRUS."

"Are you close to the King, Papy?"

"INDEED! I WAS ONCE A ROYAL GUARD TRAINEE, AND UNDYNE WOULD ALWAYS BRING ME TO VISIT THE KING DURING OUR BREAKS FROM TRAINING. KING FLUFFYBOY WOULD THEN TEACH US HOW TO PREPARE ALL SORTS OF TEAS. THIS BEING HIS FAVOURITE."

With an eyebrow raised, you repeated, "Fluffyboy? Please tell me you didn't call him that to his face."

"NYEH? WHY SHOULDN'T I? HE IS FLUFFY. AND CUDDLY. HE IS ALSO IS A BOY. OH, AND THE KING WAS CALLED THAT BY THE QUEEN - OR SO I HAVE HEARD. THE NAME STUCK. ALTHOUGH IT WAS FLUFFYBUNS TO HER. EVERYONE CALLS HIM THAT NOW!"

You reached over the table to pat Papyrus's cranium, inwardly cackling at Asgore's poor reputation, and smiled fondly when he leaned into your touch.

"Never change, sweetheart. Your backhanded compliments are too amusing for me to live without."

When you sat back down, you saw Sans's eyelights flicking from you to Papyrus, his expression unreadable. Maybe you shouldn't have done that...? Sure, you both did have a night together, but if the two bros were in a secret relationship, they wouldn't want another person to touch their partner. Perhaps you should leave so that these two can talk?

"NOW THAT EVERYONE HAS CALMED DOWN... CAN I ASK WHAT'S YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER?"

Sans choked on his tea at that question, whilst you patted your chest to calm your racing heart. 

"w-wow, papyrus. way to go for the jugular." 

"WE DON'T HAVE VEINS, BROTHER. I AM MERELY CURIOUS SINCE YOU... UH..."

The two skeletons had their cheekbones stained with colour, looking awkwardly at each other. You weren't fairing any better. 

"Well, sweetheart. Our, uh, relationship - if you could call it that - could be considered as bar buddies? We had one too many and..."

You looked away from him, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eye sockets. You knew he disapproved of your drinking habits, and you even invited his brother along. You were hitting a new low - especially since you knew from Papyrus that Sans was fighting a battle with depression. 

"RUNIC." Papyrus set his cup down to lean on the table, his hands cupping your cheek in a gentle and soothing manner. "I AM NOT ANGRY. WE ARE FRIENDS. MY ADVICE IS ONLY JUST THAT; ADVICE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME. THE ONLY THING I CONSTANTLY FRET OVER IS YOU PUSHING ME AWAY. JUST KNOW THAT I SINCERELY WORRY ABOUT YOUR HEALTH, BOTH MENTAL AND PHYSICAL, AND THAT I AM HERE WHENEVER YOU NEED A LISTENING EAR."

You leaned your forehead against his, your eyes misty. You were grateful to him, but you couldn't help but feel guilty at the same time. Friends do not sleep with their friends' partner (unless it's with consent from all parties involved). 

"... Thanks, Papyrus. That means a lot to me. I'll try not to over drink, and if it gets worst, I'll come straight to you."

"THAT'S ALL I ASK."

Papyrus grinned brightly at your truthful words, causing you to look downwards bashfully. When you felt his thumb rubbing tenderly across your cheekbones, you couldn't help but grin goofily. 

He's such a sweetheart.

The sound of someone clearing their throat brought the two of you out of your little moment.

You hastily disengaged from Papyrus, not wanting Sans to think that you were aiming for his brother next. Papyrus was nothing but a little brother to you. 

When you slouched back into your seat, you saw that Sans was looking at the two of you with a slight furrowing of his bonebrows. The second he noticed that you were looking at him, though, his expression was back to its lazy grin, his eyelights shifting to the tea in his hands.

Right... That was your cue to excuse yourself.

"Hey, Paps?" Let's avoid calling him sweetheart in front of Sans. "I should go. Work's in an hour and I really need a shower. Thanks for the tea."

"NO WORRIES, FRIEND! DO YOU WANT BREAKFAST BEFORE YOU LEAVE?"

"Nah. Thanks for the offer, though."

"ALRIGHT. IF YOU SAY SO. BUT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL WALK YOU OUT FROM THIS NEIGHBOURHOOD."

"No no. It's fine. Really. I don't want to further trouble you. And it's dangerous-"

"I INSIST!!"

Papyrus stood up with you, a hand already on your forearm as he guided you to the door.

Before you left, however, you turned back to say goodbye to Sans, but he was already gone from the kitchen. Papyrus apologized for his brother's rudeness, but you simply waved that away. You and Sans were merely acquaintances, anyway.

You pretended that his early departure did not make your soul throb. You had no right - that was your friend's partner. 

* * *

A week passed by without any issues.

You had thought that Papyrus and you would have awkward moments due to your mistake of sleeping with Sans, but it was nothing like the ~~grisly~~ scenarios you had imagined. The sweetheart simply acted as if you had not slept with his brother/lover, and continued having a professional relationship with you during work, and an intimate friendship with you outside of work.

... Although you did notice that he did not mention Sans in any way or form. Not even to complain about his brother being a troll like he usually did. You suspected that you had unintentionally brought trouble in their paradise. Shoot... 

But it was no use crying over spilt milk. You would fix it soon enough.

After having informed your employees that you would not be attending work for a week, you left Kira to be in charge since she was the more mature of the pair - and Papyrus was still fresh. 

Now, you stood outside of the haunted house, your costume stuffed inside a duffle bag that was slung over your shoulder. The sun has yet to even rise, but you were filled with energy. 

"Ah! Mr Runic, over here!"

You turned to the voice and saw the event coordinator (whose name you have forgotten) waving you over. He wasn't really making an effort to look scary. Merely wearing a lab coat with fake blood splattered on it. Behind him were a number of people holding decorations or merchandises, yelling and talking loudly as they scattered around. The place was filled with Halloween-themed games and food booths, with some of them looking comical rather than terror-inducing.

And, oh, lookie. A Monster. They (she?) appeared to be selling spider-shaped cookies and doughnuts, their many limbs moving coordinatedly as they aligned their food in their respective containers. Was it weird for ~~a nightmare~~  an arachnid type Monster to be selling spider foodsies? Well, at least they fit in better than those silly looking mask-wearing vendors. The spider Monster was wearing a knee-length purple-pink poofy dress, which would've made her look adorable if not for the green goo and organ bits splattered on it. 

You'll definitely be visiting her booth during your break.

"Good morning, sir." You greeted politely as soon as you were within hearing distance. Even though your throat and tongue had healed (thanks to the ring that gave a boost in your regeneration rate), you would rather avoid raising your voice when there wasn't a need to. 

"Yeah, morns. Are you with group... 2? Ok, good. You're free to change into your outfit in the toilets over there. The rest of your group has yet to arrive, so you can relax whilst you wait."

The coordinator soon walked away to do whatever else he needed to do, his eyes focusing on the clipboard as he entered the crowd, leaving you alone.

Soon enough, you were staring at the toilet's mirror, donning on the last piece of your costume - a pair of bloodied gloves so that people would not question why you did not simply remove your rings. When you were done, you struck a pose, feeling gleeful at how awesome you looked.

... Well, maybe you went a little overboard with the blood.

Ah, nevermind. 

What can go wrong with that? 

Since your outfit was technically the genderbent version of the Silent Hill nurse, you had a hard time adjusting to the loss of some of your vision. The bandages covering your whole head was a pain in the arse, but so worth it.

You dropped off your duffle bag to the event staff in charge of safekeeping before you made your way to the back of the haunted house, where your group was expected to meet. Unlike the other groups, yours was situated at the backyard-turned-graveyard, where all of you would scare the customers into fleeing from the property and back to the main entrance, where the staff of the event will then take over.

It was kind of messy since Events Company Inc. warned that the forest behind the haunted mansion was off limits (apparently, the fenced forest only had one entrance), so your group had to stop any wandering people whilst also scaring them simultaneously into the right direction. There would, of course, be security as well, but team 2 was the first 'line of defence' to put it simply.

As you walked through the building, you had to whistle in appreciation. They must've customized everything. The path led people from one room to another, and there was no way of backtracking unless they wanted to bump into the next group of customers. No secret or trap doors too. Just... One way. 

You weren't one to celebrate Halloween often, but damn, you missed out a lot. Maybe next year, you would come as a customer rather than a volunteer.

When you **finally** reached the backyard (more like a jungle, really), the first thing you noticed was not the spooky decorations or how shady it was thanks to the trees. Nope. It was Sans.

The stout skeleton was sitting on a tombstone, wearing a wisping black cloak with a one-sided shoulder armor. He was also holding onto a scythe made completely out of bones and was as tall as he was - the blade even looked as if it was sharp enough to cut through human flesh without any form of resistance. When he turned to face you, however, you almost had a nosebleed. The cloak he wore shifted and showcased his ribcage, splattered in crimson and looked crazily sexy to you, though most would freak at such a sight. His lazy grin wasn't even helping him look innocent since it could be misinterpreted that he gave no fucks about who he reaps.

Currently, Sans was the definition of the Grim Reaper.

For such a lazy skeleton, he truly did go all out.

Color you impressed.

Awkwardly aroused, but definitely impressed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support and positive comments! It fills this writer with DETEMMIENATION!ミ(Φ﹏Φ)ミ
> 
> I, uh, got another new... fic...? orz Check it out if you want~ [Jack of all trades](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13934628)
> 
> ANYWAY! I'm gonna take the hint from Ms Cath and use google doc. So there won't be any more... setbacks. MWEHEHEHEHE!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my stories and would like to show your support, please consider buying me [coffee ](https://ko-fi.com/V7V5HKR7)@ https://ko-fi.com/V7V5HKR7 ! It'll be heavily appreciated! (๑•̀ㅁ•́ฅ


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